[Dixielandjazz] Musician Jokes

[Diann Franks]

Did you know that banjo players are picky people.   Did you know that bass players never Fret.    Did you know that in England ,Drummers get paid by the pound.   Did you know that drummers are cymbal-minded.  Did you know that trombone-players just slide-by.   Did you know that guitarists  and vionlists just string-a-long.and saxaphonists think they're saxy.

Rick Knittel <knittelsportland at juno.com> wrote:  Q: What's the difference between a guitar player and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four. 


Q: How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?
A: By their names. 


Q: Why are harps like elderly parents?
A: Both are unforgiving and hard to get into and out of cars. 


Q: What's the difference between a trombone and a lawnmower?
A: It's easier to find work in the summer with a lawnmower. 


A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I think I'd like
to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."



Q: How are musicians like linoleum?
A: Lay them once and you can walk on them forever. ! 


Q: What's the difference between the front desk of violas and the back
desk of violas?
A: At least a semi-tone! 


Q: What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
A: The grip. 


Q: There are two bass players sitting in a car. Who's driving?
A: The policeman. 


Q: What's the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?
A: You can hit a baseball further with a bassoon. 


Q: How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?
A: Take away his instrument. 


Rick Knittel
The Maine Street Paraders
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