[Dixielandjazz] Fwd: The Army Band gig

[tcashwigg at aol.com]

Hi folks:

Thought some would be interested in reading this conversation between 
two Army Band players,

don't shoot me,  I am just passing it on for amusement or abusement  as 
the case may be individually.

Cheers,

Tom Wiggins   "who prefers strolling to marching"



      Go Army Reserve Band? A rebuttal
 Reply to: comm-156160330 at craigslist.org
  Date: 2006-04-30, 4:01PM PDT


 Conrad,

   As a former member of the band, I wish to bring to attention some 
misleading information disseminated out of your post. I'll take this on 
a point by point basis.

   CM- We meet one weekend a month in Dublin, CA on a reserve base 
called Camp Parks RFTA.

   EW- Well, sure, outside of the extra duties, like funeral gigs, 
performaces out side of drill dates, the opportunity to be called into 
active duty. These all happen outside of your "one weekend a month" 
rubric.

   CM- You can join the Army Reserve as a band member, and not be at 
risk to go to war.

   EW- OK, now this is a blatant LIE. You CAN go to war a member of the 
band, as many reserve and National Gaurd component soldiers will tell 
you. I was mobilized as a part of Enduring Freedom and it sure as hell 
felt like a war to me. Granted I wasn't over seas, but there were bands 
that got sent, so saying you'll "not be at risk to go to war" is just 
false.

  CM- Your job would be just to play music!

   EW- That is true, until the Chief of Staff decides that it's more 
useful to post your ass on the front gate, pulling a meaningless gaurd 
duty shift, with out any weapons and an afternoon of training, for 
months at a time. Sure you can schedule a rehearsal for the evening, 
just as long as your not to loud an inturrupt the meeting going down 
the hall. Your "job" as understood is to be secondary security personel 
first, muscians second

  CM- And the benefits are great...

  - $200 each weekend
  - an $8,000 sign-on bonus!
  - Get A New Instrument that you can keep!

   EW- OK- $200 bucks a weekend is a little more than I was getting, but 
it sounds right. Your tax dollars at work people. The sign up bonus is 
only is you press your recruiter for it and even then it's not a sure 
fire thing.
   Now the "new instrument you can keep!" should read like this; "Get A 
New Instrument that you can keep as long as you're in the Army!"

  CM-
  - If you go to college, the Army will
  - pay your tuition up to $4,500 per year, AND
  - repay a $10,000 student loan, AND
  - give you a $10,000 scholarship
  (paid in 34 monthly payments of $300 tax-free.)

   No Joke! I'm getting all of these benefits just for playing in a 
band, and you can too.

   EW-Well, he isn't joking. This is one side of the equation I must 
conceed. They hook you up if you're a student. But that begs the 
question, if you're a student and interested in joining the military, 
why not check out ROTC. They pay more, you become an officer, so you 
get PAID MORE and these dipshits in the band have to salute your ASS!

  --------------------------------------------------------------
  CM-
  For more information, write me back or give me a call.

  I am NOT an Army Recruiter-- I just play in the band!

   EW-Conrad, dear Conrad, you ARE a recruiter. Just becasue you don't 
wear the funny thing on your pocket or prey directly each and every day 
on young people doesn't make you less of a recruiter. It's OK though, 
you like the Army and are trying to do your part, but just don't 
mislead the people with lies. I had your job in that very band and I 
never lied. I only recruited a hnadful of people, but atleast they knew 
what they were getting themselves into.

  --------------------------------------------------------------

  CM-We are accepting auditions for any of the following instruments:

  - Baritone or Euphonium,
  - Bagpipes,
  - Bassoon,
  - Clarinet,
  - French Horn,
  - Oboe,
  - Percussion,
  - Saxophone,
  - String Bass,
  - Trombone,
  - Trumpet (1st chair only),
   EW- HA, that was MY chair! Still haven't replaced ME yet huh SUCKAS! 
Ok, sorry, that's just not nice...
  - Tuba


  CM-
  On a typical workday, we may:

   --entertain an audience by playing military marches for soldiers 
during a military ceremony;
  EW- Tedious and bagpipes can't play in tune to save their lives

   --put together a small jazz combo to add some background music to a 
General’s retirement dinner.
   EW- Play horribly dated music, but with a good group a guys. OK, I 
used to do these all the time and they suck, but they're the best gig 
they have... A bunch of old white men hardly listening at all...

   --send a trumpet player to play taps and a bagpipe player to play 
“Amazing Grace” at a military funeral
   EW- Yup, know this one well. My first and last gigs in the 91st were 
for dead people. With things going the way they have been for the last 
few years, this promises to be a very busy part of the band

   --play free concerts for the general public just to spread goodwill 
and to represent the Army.
   EW- Actually, the power of the uniform over women made these events 
almost bearable.

   --play the national anthem for the Raider’s, the A’s, the Giants or 
another local event.
   EW- Never happed while I was in the band, but that was on 8 years, so 
I'm sure they're due for their "once a decade" gig at a sporting event. 
Oooo, mayby the NASCAR races, hey that's a sypathetic Army crowd...

   --We give performances and march in parades every Independence Day, 
Veteran's Day, and Memorial Day.
   EW- Good point. All of those holidays your friends, family and 
coworkers all have off and are left free to party, BBQ or just sit 
around and be lazy can be kissed off. Instead you can look forward to 
getting up at an unholy hour, showing up in uncomfortable clothes, 
sitting around for about an hour or so until it's time to get the 
bus/vans loaded, being rushed to eat crappy (but free) food, march up 
an down the street for people who do generally appreciate your efforts, 
but would rather have a tax break if it meant shutting the band down. 
So ask yourself, if marching in the morning of July 4th and then an 
evening concert that same day, getting home well after midnight, is 
your cup of tea, then enjoy.

   CM-As you can see, the band is a very important part of representing 
the Army.
  We are needed here at home, not overseas.

   EW-That's right, bagpipes don't handle the heat well, so Iraq would 
really be out of the question for the guys in kilts...



   EW- In case this gets back to the band, I understand that you all are 
up in numbers, which I must say I'm very proud of you guys. I still 
love a bunch of you, but I'm pretty sure this is illeagal. Unless there 
have been some policy changes, this kind of advertising was not allowed 
under the rules that governed my recruitment efforts. I don't want to 
see you guys get in trouble, so maybe a Group Leader can have 
Counseling Session with the young SGT, God knows I had my fair share!

  VERDUKIE FOREVER!!!!

  EW

           this is in or around Camp Parks, RFTA