[Dixielandjazz] Re: Dixielandjazz Digest, Vol 41, Issue 51

[David Richoux]

Actually, with a little web research I was able to find many of the  
answers, but "pure music theory " is not really my thing! I only took  
a short High School class (required for band) but I never did too  
well in it. Music History worked a bit better for me.

If we realize there actually is a "science" for the aspects of music  
it can be a scary thing (because we all - the educated and uneducated  
humans and some other animals of the world keep making it without  
much formal training! ;-)

Dave Richoux
On Jun 7, 2006, at 8:07 PM, Laurence Swain wrote:

> Does this make sense to you?
>
> L
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>> From: David Richoux <tubaman at tubatoast.com>
>> Subject: [Dixielandjazz] You think OKOM music is complicated? Try
>>  Music	Theory
>>
>> This was just posted on the Contrabass list - no idea who the
>> original author was...
>>
>>
>>
>> (Hope a lot of you had fun at Sacto - this was the first year i
>> missed in over 20! )
>>
>> Dave Richoux
>>
>> =====================================
>>
>> You might be a music theory geek if . . .
>>
>> 1) you whistle in style brise.
>>
>> 2) your favorite pickup line is, “What's your favorite augmented
>> sixth chord?”
>>
>> 3) your second favorite pickup line is, “Would you like to raise my
>> leading tone?”
>>
>> 4) you only sing tunes that make good fugal subjects.
>>
>> 5) you have a poster of Allen Forte in your room.
>>
>> 6) you know who Allen Forte is.
>>
>> 7) you dream in four parts.
>>
>> 8) those “parasitic” dissonances make you queasy, especially when
>> left unresolved.
>>
>> 9) you can improvise 16th century counterpoint with no trouble, but
>> you frequently forget how to tie your shoes.
>>
>> 10) you can look at a piece by Bach and say, “You know, I think he
>> could have gotten a better effect this way . . .”
>>
>> 11) you can answer your phone with a tonal or a real answer.
>>
>> 12) you like to deceive your friends and loved ones with deceptive
>> cadences.
>>
>> 13) you only drink fifths, and then you laugh at the pun.
>>
>> 14) you feel the need to end Tchaikovsky's Pathetique Symphony with a
>> picardy third.
>>
>> 15) instead of counting sheep, you count sequences.
>>
>> 16) you find free counterpoint too liberal.
>>
>> 17) Moussorgsky's “Hopak” gives you nightmares.
>>
>> 18) you wonder what a Danish sixth would sound like.
>>
>> 19) you long for the good old days of movable G-clefs.
>>
>> 20) the Corelli Clash gives you goosebumps.
>>
>> 21) you have ever quoted Walter Piston.
>>
>> 22) you can hear an enharmonic modulation coming a mile away.
>>
>> 23) you like to march to the rhythms of Stravinsky’s “Le Sacre du
>> printemps.”
>>
>> 24) your license plate says: T351.
>>
>> 25) you have ever tried to do a Schenkerian analysis on “Three Blind
>> Mice.”
>>
>> 26) you have ever tried to do a Schenkerian analysis on John Cage’s
>> 4'33''.
>>
>> 27) you confuse fishsticks with ground bass.
>>
>> 28) you found No. 27 funny.
>>
>> 29) you have ever had a “Gurrelieder” party.
>>
>> 30) you have ever pondered on what an augmented seventh chord would
>> sound like.
>>
>> 31) bass motion by ascending thirds or a sequential pattern with
>> roots in ascending fifths immediately strikes you as “belabored.”
>>
>> 32) you lament the decline of serialism.
>>
>> 33) you know what the ninth overtone of the harmonic series is off
>> the top of your head.
>>
>> 34) you have ever dressed up as counterpoint for Halloween.
>>
>> 35) you can name ten of Palestrina’s contemporaries.
>>
>> 36) you enjoy the tang of a tritone whenever you can.
>>
>> 37) you have ever found a typographical error in a score by Berio,
>> Stockhausen, or Boulez.
>>
>> 38) you have ever heard a wrong note in a performance of a
>> composition by Berio, Stockhausen, or Boulez.
>>
>> 39) you have ever played through your music as if the fingering
>> markings were figured bass symbols.
>>
>> 40) you suspiciously check all the music you hear for dangling
>> sevenths.
>>
>> 41) when you're feeling prankish, you will transpose Mozart arias to
>> locrian mode.
>>
>> 42) you keep a notebook of useful diminutions.
>>
>> 43) you have composed variations on a theme by Anton Webern.
>>
>> 44) you know the difference between a Courante and a Corrente.
>>
>> 45) you have trained your dog to jump through a flaming circle of
>> fifths.
>>
>> 46) you have ever used the word “fortspinnung” in polite  
>> conversation.
>>
>> 47) you feel cheated by evaded cadences.
>>
>> 48) you liked differential calculus because it reminded you of set
>> theory.
>>
>> 49) every now and then you like to kick back and play something in
>> hypophrygian mode.
>>
>> 50) you wonder why there aren't more types of seventh chords.
>>
>> 51) you wish you had twelve fingers.
>>
>> 52) you like polytonal music because, hey, the more keys the merrier.
>>
>> 53) you abbreviate your shopping list using figured bass.
>>
>> 54) you always make sure to invert your counterpoint, just in case.
>>
>> 55) you have ever told a joke with a punchline of: because it was
>> polyphonic!
>>
>> 56) you know dirty acronyms for the order of sharps.
>>
>> 57) you consider all music written between 1750 and 1920 to be
>> “rather elementary.”
>>
>> 58) you memorize dates and times by what they would sound like in set
>> theory.
>>
>> 59) you can not only identify any one of Bach’s 371 Harmonized
>> Chorales by ear, but you also know what page it is on in the
>> Riemenschneider edition and how many suspensions it has in the first
>> seven bars.
>>
>> 60) you got more than half of the jokes in this list.
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