[Dixielandjazz] Re: Dixielandjazz Digest, Vol 41, Issue 51

[Laurence Swain]

Does this make sense to you?

L



> From: David Richoux <tubaman at tubatoast.com>
> Subject: [Dixielandjazz] You think OKOM music is complicated? Try
>  Music	Theory
> To: DJML Jazz <dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com>
> Message-ID: <6800CC53-0D22-4071-87EE-E6783E9DB0A8 at tubatoast.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=WINDOWS-1252; delsp=yes;
>  format=flowed
> 
> This was just posted on the Contrabass list - no idea who the  
> original author was...
> 
> 
> 
> (Hope a lot of you had fun at Sacto - this was the first year i 
> missed in over 20! )
> 
> Dave Richoux
> 
> =====================================
> 
> You might be a music theory geek if . . .
> 
> 1) you whistle in style brise.
> 
> 2) your favorite pickup line is, “What's your favorite augmented 
> sixth chord?”
> 
> 3) your second favorite pickup line is, “Would you like to raise my
> leading tone?”
> 
> 4) you only sing tunes that make good fugal subjects.
> 
> 5) you have a poster of Allen Forte in your room.
> 
> 6) you know who Allen Forte is.
> 
> 7) you dream in four parts.
> 
> 8) those “parasitic” dissonances make you queasy, especially when 
> left unresolved.
> 
> 9) you can improvise 16th century counterpoint with no trouble, but 
> you frequently forget how to tie your shoes.
> 
> 10) you can look at a piece by Bach and say, “You know, I think he 
> could have gotten a better effect this way . . .”
> 
> 11) you can answer your phone with a tonal or a real answer.
> 
> 12) you like to deceive your friends and loved ones with deceptive 
> cadences.
> 
> 13) you only drink fifths, and then you laugh at the pun.
> 
> 14) you feel the need to end Tchaikovsky's Pathetique Symphony with a
> picardy third.
> 
> 15) instead of counting sheep, you count sequences.
> 
> 16) you find free counterpoint too liberal.
> 
> 17) Moussorgsky's “Hopak” gives you nightmares.
> 
> 18) you wonder what a Danish sixth would sound like.
> 
> 19) you long for the good old days of movable G-clefs.
> 
> 20) the Corelli Clash gives you goosebumps.
> 
> 21) you have ever quoted Walter Piston.
> 
> 22) you can hear an enharmonic modulation coming a mile away.
> 
> 23) you like to march to the rhythms of Stravinsky’s “Le Sacre du 
> printemps.”
> 
> 24) your license plate says: T351.
> 
> 25) you have ever tried to do a Schenkerian analysis on “Three Blind
> Mice.”
> 
> 26) you have ever tried to do a Schenkerian analysis on John Cage’s
> 4'33''.
> 
> 27) you confuse fishsticks with ground bass.
> 
> 28) you found No. 27 funny.
> 
> 29) you have ever had a “Gurrelieder” party.
> 
> 30) you have ever pondered on what an augmented seventh chord would 
> sound like.
> 
> 31) bass motion by ascending thirds or a sequential pattern with 
> roots in ascending fifths immediately strikes you as “belabored.”
> 
> 32) you lament the decline of serialism.
> 
> 33) you know what the ninth overtone of the harmonic series is off 
> the top of your head.
> 
> 34) you have ever dressed up as counterpoint for Halloween.
> 
> 35) you can name ten of Palestrina’s contemporaries.
> 
> 36) you enjoy the tang of a tritone whenever you can.
> 
> 37) you have ever found a typographical error in a score by Berio, 
> Stockhausen, or Boulez.
> 
> 38) you have ever heard a wrong note in a performance of a  
> composition by Berio, Stockhausen, or Boulez.
> 
> 39) you have ever played through your music as if the fingering
> markings were figured bass symbols.
> 
> 40) you suspiciously check all the music you hear for dangling
> sevenths.
> 
> 41) when you're feeling prankish, you will transpose Mozart arias to
> locrian mode.
> 
> 42) you keep a notebook of useful diminutions.
> 
> 43) you have composed variations on a theme by Anton Webern.
> 
> 44) you know the difference between a Courante and a Corrente.
> 
> 45) you have trained your dog to jump through a flaming circle of 
> fifths.
> 
> 46) you have ever used the word “fortspinnung” in polite conversation.
> 
> 47) you feel cheated by evaded cadences.
> 
> 48) you liked differential calculus because it reminded you of set 
> theory.
> 
> 49) every now and then you like to kick back and play something in 
> hypophrygian mode.
> 
> 50) you wonder why there aren't more types of seventh chords.
> 
> 51) you wish you had twelve fingers.
> 
> 52) you like polytonal music because, hey, the more keys the merrier.
> 
> 53) you abbreviate your shopping list using figured bass.
> 
> 54) you always make sure to invert your counterpoint, just in case.
> 
> 55) you have ever told a joke with a punchline of: because it was 
> polyphonic!
> 
> 56) you know dirty acronyms for the order of sharps.
> 
> 57) you consider all music written between 1750 and 1920 to be  
> “rather elementary.”
> 
> 58) you memorize dates and times by what they would sound like in set
> theory.
> 
> 59) you can not only identify any one of Bach’s 371 Harmonized  
> Chorales by ear, but you also know what page it is on in the  
> Riemenschneider edition and how many suspensions it has in the first
> seven bars.
> 
> 60) you got more than half of the jokes in this list.