[Dixielandjazz] Jazz Goes To College

[Charles Suhor]

As I groaned through these awful responses, I wondered--am I blaming 
the victims? If I were the teacher, I'd think about making some changes 
in the program, maybe even a change of profession.--Charlie Suhor


On May 20, 2005, at 2:34 PM, Steve barbone wrote:

> These are quotes from students in a college jazz history class. They 
> are
> extracted from the essay topic, "What I learned over this semester
> in jazz history." These are all genuine responses, completely 
> unaltered.
> They are all 18+ year old students; not high school or middle school 
> age
> kids. None of them are music students. Ah, the Jazz Oblivious. :-) VBG
>
> Cheers,
> Steve Barbone
>
> "Free Jazz is an era that I wished I had never learned about.”
>
> "Free Jazz. Wow; what a sound it makes. An awful, horrible sound. I 
> don’t
> see how that can actually be called a sound.  My 5 year old nephew 
> could
> pound on the piano and make the same sound! He may even make a better 
> sound.
> To be honest, that sound is one big mess.”
>
> "With swing, it’s kind of up in the air for me. I must say I tried 
> like hell
> to keep up with it.”
>
> "My favorite jazz has a bluesy, Mexican feel to it.”
>
> "Though Jazz started in New Orleans, it traveled all around the world
> picking up and dropping off things along the way.”
>
> "One thing that confused me was Jelly Roll Morton. Did he play with 
> the Red
> Hot Chili Peppers? I didn’t think that they were around back then.”
>
> "Jelly Roll (Morton) bridged the gap between piano and ragtime.”
>
> "My grandpa likes it, but I think scat stinks.”
>
> "Chick Corea, Dizzie Gillespie, Bix Biderbeck, and the monk created the
> first cool group.”
>
> "I wished Don Cherry would put his trumpet back in his pocket.”
>
> "There is not enough space in my head to fit all that I learned.”
>
> "This class taught me about a lot of things that I never knew about.”
>
> "Some of the big jazz musicians we learned about were: Lous Armstrong, 
> Duke,
> Charlie Parker, Dizzy Cillespic, T. Mark, Ken Barns, Buddy Baldwin,
> Jellyroll Mortin, Sydney Bichai, Fats Waller, Earl Hines, and many many
> more.”
>
> "Coming into class on the first day, I assumed there would be a boring
> professor standing in front of the class droning on and on about jazz.
> “Here’s where it started; this is who played it; and here we are today;
> blah, blah, blah.” I now realize that my assumption wasn’t all that 
> wrong.”
>
> "I assumed that jazz had started in the African-American community only
> because it fulfilled a multi-cultural course that I was required to 
> take.”
>
> "Jim Crow, in a way, was the first jazz musician.”
>
> "Jazz was put into effect by Jim Crow’s Law.”
>
> "I really enjoyed hearing the big band, “Frank Foster’s Arrangement””.
>
> "I learned in this class that, contrary to my mom’s opinion, Kenny G 
> is a
> joke. A really non-funny one.”
>
> "I fell in love with that tune, “Stablemates”. It really hits home.”
>
> "Jazz musicians don’t play for women any more.”
>
> "I learned that going to jazz concerts gets me in good with the 
> girlfriend.”
>
> "I learned a lot about Be Bop, Swing, Drugs, and Fusion.”
>
> "I found new respect for Miles Davis. He was adamant about not using 
> drugs
> when everyone else was trying to get him to try some.”
>
> "I liked hearing the Original Dixieland (Jazz) Band, and how they were 
> the
> original Dixieland band.”
>
> "You might want to mention to future classes that jazz brings true 
> romance
> to a scene.”
>
> "I’m glad I took this class, because I feel more comfortable to talk 
> about
> jazz in its awesomeness.”
>
> "Drugs caused many artists their careers in many ways.”
>
> "Jazz is a style of music that is almost very sober.”
>
> "I figured jazz started in the 1960s, but to my surprise, it started 
> back in
> the late 18th century.”
>
> "Smooth jazz now just plain old angers me.”
>
> "A lot of the things that I learned were facts that I never new about, 
> not
> only in jazz, but in life as well.”
>
> "I got really excited by the tenor sax, soprano sax, baritone sax, but 
> not
> so much the alto sax.”
>
> “I can’t believe that blacks had time to invent jazz if they were 
> hanging
> out in the whorehouses with Jelly Roll Morton.”
>
> “A lot of black jazz musicians were very talented, which probably came 
> from
> them not having anything else to do.”
>
> “When blacks and whites finally decided to get together to make jazz, 
> it was
> a big hit.”
>
> “Lennie Tristano and Lee Konitz were two guys who would sit down and 
> enjoy
> cool jazz.”
>
> “Going to the club gave me jazz sensations.”
>
> “I hear the hard-bop jazz influence on bands today such as Matchbox 
> Twenty
> and Dave Matthews Band”
>
> “I’m now going to start this essay on jazz.”
>
> “James Crow worked to bring the slaves together with the creoles.”
>
> “Learning jazz has helped me beat my mom at Jeopardy. She had no idea 
> who a
> blind pianist from Toledo, OH was for $800.
>
> “I learned the definition of supreme technical virtuosity is to play 
> like
> Louie Armstrong.”
>
> "Charlie Parker was a famous jazz musician who played saxophonists.”
>
> “Getting 81% (on a test) is all well and good until you see that dumb 
> guy
> next to you who picks his nose getting 91%. I then started studying and
> coming to class.”
>
> “I asked the drummer what the names of the names and styles of the 
> tunes
> that he played but he didn’t seem to know.”
>
> “TV has become more jazzy to me now.”
>
> “Studying jazz has been a coming out party for me.”
>
> “I loved the vibrational solos of Clifford Brown.”
>
> “When I think of tradition and instruments, I think of Fiddler of the 
> Roof.”
>
> “I learned a lot from the different guest speakers in class, whether 
> they
> were an experienced piano player, a director of music at a major 
> motel, or a
> guitar player with an oddly placed hankercheif in his pocket.”
>
> “Jazz has the technique of classical music, the feeling of blues, and 
> the
> hope of children everywhere.”
>
> “I know what troubles musicians now when I watch and listen to them 
> play.”
>
> “My ties to jazz were through Bleeding Gums Murphy, a character on a 
> TV show
> called the Simpsons. It comes on at 8pm on Sunday nights.”
>
> “I was surprised to find out about the different styles of jazz like 
> hard,
> be, and post bops.”
>
> “I thought that jazz was a certain amount of instruments that you 
> played and
> was composed for you(,) not believing that it was their improvisation 
> and
> the jazz musicians who made up the music on the spot doing what they 
> wanted
> to do with the tunes. I know this is hard to explain but it is true.”
>
> “When I try to play jazz, I mess around with the instruments pounding 
> out
> random notes that were just me making nonsense up and it sounding like 
> a big
> pile of crap.”
>
> “Jazz is more profound when it doesn’t help pay the bills.”
>
> “The first thing I learned in jazz history that happy birthday is the 
> most
> played jazz classic. You want to hear happy birthday in swing BAM! You 
> got
> it. You want to hear happy birthday in classic jazz BAM! You got it. 
> You
> want to hear happy birthday in be bop BAM! You go(t) it. It’s great. 
> The
> second thing I learned is free jazz is where its at. I think that I 
> could be
> a free jazz musician cause it all sounds like a drunk 7 year old 
> jamming
> down on some notes and making the sweet sweet music fly. Free jazz was
> defiantly the best part of the class but unfortunately you didn’t play 
> free
> jazz enough. My one suggestion for your next class is that you start 
> out
> every class with a 5 minute free jazz intro. Over all and all, I 
> defiantly
> learned a lot in jazz history class.”
>
> “Hip hop and pop are fine, going out for fame and bling bling. Jazz 
> has been
> around for a while, is out of style, but can really sing.”
>
> “Jazz musicians sing and play music because they can’t contain their
> passions. Their music starts in the soul radiates out in every 
> direction.”
>
> “Jazz is a very dynamic kind of music. Loud and Soft.”
>
> “Swing makes you want to get up and dance and free jazz just makes you 
> want
> to get up.”
>
> “If any kind of music can calm a hectic day, its cool jazz. If you 
> feel like
> going out and dancing, however there is ragtime.”
>
> “In conclusion, jazz is music.”
>
> “Jazz has come from the fields of New Orleans to my 2pm class, and 
> beyond.”
>
> “Unlike other forms of music, jazz is listened to by old people as 
> well as
> us.”
>
> “I learned what intros and outros were in this class. Now I look for 
> them
> when I go searching for good music.”
>
> “I went to do my (jazz) listening report at the house of blues.”
>
> “Jazz has taught me a lot about the Civil War, World War I, and World 
> War
> II.”
>
> “I thought of jazz as a thing of the past, something old African 
> American
> men listened to on old record players while sitting on their front 
> porches
> smoking cigars.”
>
> “Steve Turre has taught me that sea shells should be left on the ground
> instead of his mouth.”
>
> “Over the course of the semester my knowledge of jazz has gone from 
> nothing
> to practically nothing.”
>
> “Even though I probably won’t listen to jazz after this semester, it 
> has
> given me a greater appreciation of movies.”
>
> “My favorite person to study was Sonny Rollins. He knew that he had to 
> throw
> his saxaphone off the bridge when he heard how good Charlie Parker 
> was.”
>
> “Jazz to me was the “shoo opps” from groups in streets downtown in the
> olden, golden days.”
>
> “Happy birthday. That song is just amazing to me.”
>
> “My all-time favorite jazz artist to listen to was Buddy Baldwin, AKA 
> “the
> jazz king.” I think I’m going to go out and buy a couple of his CDs”
>
> “I was surprised to find musicians with such odd names such as Vilage 
> Von
> Guard.”
>
> “Jazz is not as popular with all of the adolescence going around.”
>
> “I like jazz more in books than on cds.”
>
> “I remember coming into class with no facts but a whole plate of 
> bullshit to
> dish out.”
>
> “I found myself learning about Blues, Early Jazz, Dixieland, Swing, Be 
> Bop,
> Brazilian, Afro-Cuban, Cool Jazz, Hard Bop, Free Jazz, Third Stream,
> Japanese, Post Bop, Fusion, Smooth, Modern Jazz, and the list goes on.”
>
> “’Call and Respond’ is where one musician plays and the other one 
> tries too
> hard to figure out what he’s doing.”
>
> “The people in Dixie Land originated jazz music.”
>
> “Jazz is now a part of me from 2pm-3:15pm every Tuesday and Thursday.”
>
> “Jazz started in the fields where they used hand-me-down instruments 
> and
> wore hand-me-down clothes.”
>
> “If Wynton Marsalis said jazz was dead in the 1970’s, what was he 
> playing at
> the time?”
>
> “Weather Report was the final big band back in the day.”
>
> “My girlfriend and I both agreed the next morning that jazz-club food 
> was
> something we could’ve done without.”
>
> “Jazz agitates me.”
>
> “I like jazz, but I need something else besides rhythm, melody, and
> harmony.”
>
> “I had no clue that so many (musicians) used drugs. Thinking about 
> that,
> there is no doubt that they are living the life I dream of. They are
> spending money on things that they don’t really need or even want.”
>
> “I noticed that there weren’t many jazz women in our textbook until I 
> looked
> to see that the author was a guy. All guys are sexist, women bashers, 
> who
> don’t ever give us our credit.”
>
> “The part I most enjoyed was studying and appreciating slavery.”
>
> “Its hard to imagine where Winton Marsalis gets his ideas from.”
>
> “I’d like to see midgets getting bribed in every jazz club. Not just 
> with
> Birdland. I’m of course talking about the jazz club, not Charlie 
> Parker.”
>
> “We’ve had our share of good times and bad times over the semester. By 
> bad
> times, I mean my tests.”
>
> “Count Bassie WAS the swing era”
>
> “This class increased my intelligence with aptitude.”
>
> “Duke Ellington had the ability to turn jazz compositions into pure 
> magic.”
>
> “Swing died in World War II when the soloists took over.”
>
> “I could go on and on about jazz, but I won’t.”
>
> “Tony Williams was my favorite drummer because his group, Lifetime, is 
> the
> same name as my favorite channel that I watch.”
>
> “How do the musicians know what to play when their eyes were closed the
> whole time? And what was with the piano player talking while he played 
> his
> solos. His musician friends must have been thought he was crazy.”
>
> “I technically wasn’t in your class but I was happy to be along for the
> ride.”
>
> “I was in jazz band in high school but we didn’t play jazz music.”
>
> “Dizzie Gillespie was the one who jammed on the drums.”
>
> “I thought doing our listening report would be a painful sort of 
> torture.”
>
> “I was bummed out at the beginning of the semester because I thought 
> Louis
> Armstrong was going to be one of the guest lecturers.
>
>
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