[Dixielandjazz] A Ranchers Guide to Life

[Dan Augustine]

     If you can't see how this applies to music, you ain't as smart as 
you think you are.
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>Date: Fri, 5 Nov 2004 19:30:55 -0500 (Eastern Standard Time)
>From: "dicka" <dicka at qcol.net>
>Subject: Fw: A Ranchers Guide to Life
>  >
>  >  1. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
>  >  2. A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
>  >  3. Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
>  >  4. Meanness don't happen overnight.
>  >  5. Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
>  >  6. Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
>  >  7. Don't corner something meaner than you.
>  >  8. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
>  >  9. You can't unsay a cruel thing.
>  > 10. Every path has some puddles.
>  > 11. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
>  > 12. The best sermons are lived, not preached.
>  > 13. Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.
>  > 14. Don't squat with your spurs on.
>  > 15. Don't judge people by their relatives.
>  > 16. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
>  > 17. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think
>  >     back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
>  > 18. Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
>  > 19. Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.
>  > 20. Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how
>  >     well you bounce.
>  > 21. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
>  > 22. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
>  > 23. It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.
>  > 24. The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm.
>  > 25. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop
>  >     diggin'.
>  > 26. If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
>  > 27. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
>  > 28. Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.
>  > 29. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with
>  >     watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
>  > 30. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try
>  >     orderin' somebody else's dog around.
>  > 31. Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is
>  >     probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
>  > 32. Only cows know why they stampede.
>  > 33. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and
>  >     then to make sure it's still there with ya.
>  > 34. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from
>  >     bad judgment.
>  > 35. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin'
>  >     it back in.
>  > 36. You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'till they get
>  >     thumped.
>  > 37. Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
>  > 38. Always drink upstream from the herd.
>  > 39. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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**  Dan Augustine     Austin, Texas     ds.augustine at mail.utexas.edu  **
**      "Anything that's not a mystery is just guesswork."            **
**  -- M. D. Shafter (on Jerry Jeff Walker's "Riding High" album)     **
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