[Dixielandjazz] Re: Right to Play Tunes

[TCASHWIGG at aol.com]

Hi Guys:

A Favorite response to the collection guys for me is thus:

Oh you want to collect the royalties for the songwriters for the songs we are 
going to perform or just performed.

This goes over very well with your psyche especially after you just finished 
a 90 minute high energy performance and are busy dealing with fans and 
audience members looking to meet the band and get autographs make photos with you 
etc.

I look at the paper which is almost always in a foreign language to me since 
we tour Internationally, and I ask the man to buy a CD and then he can take 
the paper and fill it out for himself with all the tunes listed on the CD and 
bring it back to me and I will sign it.

The form always asks for the title of the song, the author, arranger, and a 
bunch of Bullshit that nobody wants to deal with at the end of a good show, and 
especially when you know the guy trying to embezzle the money has no clue 
what songs you played anyway nor does he really care.  I love to just hand them a 
set list with the keys listed, and tell them to figure it out that everything 
they need is on that paper. :)

They get particularly upset when I tell them that we performed al our own 
original songs written and owned by us and that they are definitely not licensed 
by BMI ASCAP SESAC, or any other organization.  They get really bent out of 
shape when I tell them that they have no right to be collecting my money for me 
since I have no contract giving them permission to do so, nor did I ever ask 
them to do so.

They usually walk off forge my name or someone's name on the paper collect 
money from the promoter and show up a year or two later and try again when we 
return to the festival, most of them don't even remember us.   

Another good way to get rid of them is tell them you are too drunk to 
remember all that information, and ask them to buy you a drink and fill it out for 
you, if I really want to upset the guy, sit down at a table with him, get him to 
buy a drink, do one song, and ask for another drink to help you remember the 
next one and so on and So on, :)  there is room for about 20 songs on that 
paper, so if you get a real idiot you can get in a good night of drinking on him, 
and when you get to the last song, don't sign it but excuse yourself and go 
to the toilet leaving him with the bar tab.  Or sign it Mickey Mouse, Elmer 
Fudd, Count Dracula, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley or any other celebrity that 
seems appropriate.


Another one that is fun is get an interpreter to tell him you are illiterate 
and just make an X on the paper on every line and two XXs on the signature 
line.

Traveling with Saint Gabriel's Celestial Brass Band is definitely a fun 
experience.


Ain't Show Biz Fun?
Cheers,

Tom Wiggins