[Dixielandjazz] Musicians' Haiku

[Charlie Hooks]

These came in a couple of years ago, lying around in one of my floppies

> ========================
>
>  Musicians' Haiku
>
>  Money's everything
>  Playing any gig that comes
>  Whores, we are all whores
>
>  Squeaking and squawking
>  All eyes roll to the heavens
>  The clarinet speaks
>
>  One beat to change from
>  Harmon to cup to bucket
>  Hey, who wrote this s..t?
>
>  Here comes the high note
>  The lead trumpeter puckers
>  Clam, clam, Darn, clam, S..t!
>
>  The jam session starts
>  Somebody calls "Giant Steps"
>  Cold fear grips my brain
>  (Have to change my reed)
>
>  Here's the girl singer
>  Stepping to the microphone
>  Pitch, Time, All gone now
>
>  Gig is going well
>  A..hole requests "In the Mood"
>  I look at my watch
>
>  I once had a dream
>  Big house, new car, big money
>  Now I play the bass
>
>  An oxymoron:
>  "He played the accordion
>  With delicacy"
>
>  Gorgeous chick tells me
>  "You sound just like Kenny G"
>  My ego shatters
>  (Hope no one heard her)
>  (Quitting music now)
>
>  Three-eight, eleven-eight
>  F..k you, Andrew Lloyd Webber
>  Five-eight, seven-eight
>
>  Trane, Prez, Bird, Brecker
>  Giants of the saxophone
>  Eat s..t Kenny G
>
>  Great changes, good groove
>  A one-in-a-million gig
>  No singer; Yippee!
>
>  The accordion
>  "Squeeze box," yes, but more often
>  "The Stomach Steinway"
>
>  Bassoons forever
>  Try in vain not to sound like
>  A farting bedpost
>
>  The strings slowly tune
>  When they're done the unisons
>  Are anything but
>
>  "I can't find my note"
>  Bemoans the confused singer
>  "Quit now," we all pray
>
>  The contractor calls
>  Months of Andrew Lloyd Webber
>  "Bird Lives" no longer

Charliehooks@earthlink.net

Many talents rust
Unused, dry reeds cracked, alas
Supply more haiku

CH