[Dixielandjazz] Talking of bass players ........

[Dingo]

BASS PLAYER OFFENCES


NAME OF OFFENDER - __________________________

INFRACTION DATE - ___________

OFFENCE FINES

[ ] Playing loudly during warm up £10
[ ] Playing loudly £75
[ ] Sound-checking amp with funk slapping £25
[ ] Loud cursing after mistake £10
[ ] Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune £15
[ ] Playing high and fast after mistake £20
[ ] Asking for "E" tuning note £25
[ ] Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb £50
[ ] Playing written-out walking line £5
[ ] Failure to play written walking line £15
[ ] Blacking out during ballad £100
[ ] Ignoring drummer's tempo £10
[ ] Following drummer's tempo £25
[ ] Showing up before first downbeat £15
[ ] Playing audibly £25
[ ] Faking changes £15
[ ] Slapping £15
[ ] Excessive sweating £25
[ ] Pedal point double-stops during horn solo £50
[ ] Asking leader for a solo £10
[ ] Accepting solo when offered £20
[ ] Taking second chorus £30
[ ] Playing "A Train" ending on every tune £10
[ ] Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune £15
[ ] Telling bone player about all the gigs you get £10
[ ] Asking bone player about their day gig £10
[ ] Sitting behind drums on break £10
[ ] Practising scales during break £25
[ ] Practising scales during drum solo £50
[ ] Practising £25
[ ] Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." £50
[ ] Wearing old Kenny Ball tour shirt £10
[ ] Wearing newer Kenny Ball tour shirt £20
[ ] Asking when the jazz set starts £20
[ ] Continually asking "where are we?" £15
[ ] Continually shouting "Yeah!" £25
[ ] Taking cellphone call during 4's £25
[ ] Using same colour nail varnish as the roadie £30
[ ] Still on stage packing away bass/amp on next band's opening number £20

~~
John D