[Dixielandjazz] Stop the music - yo're killing me!

[Don Ingle]

If the state of the music business gets to the poit where you want to 
endit all, consider this
story about ending it all. Just call it "I'll be glad wehen you'redead 
you rascal you!"

On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus, 
and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head.

 Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to 
commit suicide.
 He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency.

 As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun 
blast passing through
 a window, which killed him instantly.

 Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had 
been installed just below
 the  eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that 
Ronald Opus would not have
 been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

 The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was 
occupied by an elderly
 man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening 
her with a shotgun!
 The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely 
missed his
 wife, and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus.

 When one intends to kill subject 'A' but kills subject 'B' in the 
attempt, one is guilty of the
  murder of subject 'B.'

 When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were 
both adamant, and both said
 that they thought the shotgun was not loaded.The old man said it was a 
long-standing habit to
 threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to 
murder her.

 Therefore, the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, 
assuming the gun had
 been  accidentally loaded.

 The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old 
couple's son loading the
 shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that 
the old lady had
 cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity 
of his father to use
 the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his 
father would
 shoot his mother.

 Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the 
murder even
 though he didn't actually pull the trigger..

 The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death 
of Ronald Opus.

 Now for the exquisite twist... Further investigation revealed that the 
son was, in fact, Ronald Opus.
 He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt 
to engineer his
 mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on 
March 23rd,
 only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story 
window.

 The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself. So the medical 
examiner closed
 the case as a suicide.

And you think a wedding gig is tough!