[Dixielandjazz] Here is a Heck of an Offer

[Robert Ringwald]

I've already sent my bank account info to them and am waiting to see the
money pour in.

--Bob Ringwald


Dear Friends,

My name is Ndugood. I am a wealthy Nigerian prince who loves the jazz of
music.

I am seeking your help to move $200,000,000 from my checking account here in
Nigeria to the United States.

I too love the jazz of music and am planning to flee to America to open many
jazz clubs at which I would like you to perform.

You will receive $42,000 a night, plus a meal.
My new "Tribal Village Vanguard" clubs will be of great success and you will
become rich like the rest of American jazz musicians.

I have already applied for building exemptions to allow thatched stages and
the spearing of live animals. But I desperately need your help.

My tribe, the Swindlisi, a peaceful jazz-loving people, has been horribly
oppressed by the ruling military junta, which despises the jazz of music.

My father, an exiled king and booking agent, was recently imprisoned under
the Draconian "three gigs - you're out" law, and now I must flee my beloved
country with all of my improbable wealth - But I need help in moving it.

I have so much money that it will not fit in the allotted two checked bags
and one carry-on.

I am therefore want to transfer the money through your ATM system (The
Nigerian ATM system cannot exchange international currencies; it
only converts "antelope to money").

So please to just provide me with your full name and address, social
security
number, bank account and PIN numbers, and you will become incredibly
(literally) rich from playing many jazz gigs.

(Note: normal Nigerian Musician's Union rules apply: three hour
performances,
two 15 minute breaks allowed, musicians to provide their own mosquito nets,
one open fire per bandstand, one free meal plus anything you kill).

Act now. The first ten musicians to respond will receive a free copy of the
Nigeria's Greatest Jazz Hits CD, by our beloved 'Disoriented' Gillespie
Band,
which contains the hits:

The Night Has A Thousand Flies
Goodbye Shrunken Head
Here's That Rainy Season
Just Tribesmen (Lovers No More)
Take the 'A' Trail
When I Fall In Quicksand
Half-Nelson Mandella
Blue Monkey
Leopard Skins and Moonbeams
Blue Mombossa
Almost Like Being In Lagos
Sunny Side of the Goatpath
I Didn't Know What Century It Was

Thank you for your many help.

Your inordinately wealthy Nigerian brother...

Prince Ndugood