[Dixielandjazz] Your Brain & Copyright Infringement

Larry Walton Entertainment - St. Louis larrys.bands at charter.net
Tue Jul 29 17:30:51 PDT 2008

> In order to avoid engaging in unauthorized copyright infringement, 
> consumers will now be required to immediately forget everything  they've 
> just heard.

I think most of the guys around here are safe.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Stephen G Barbone" <barbonestreet at earthlink.net>
To: "Larry Walton" <larrys.bands at charter.net>
Cc: "Dixieland Jazz Mailing List" <dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com>
Sent: Tuesday, July 29, 2008 8:37 AM
Subject: [Dixielandjazz] Your Brain & Copyright Infringement

>  RIAA Declares Using Brain to Remember Songs is Criminal Copyright 
> Infringement
>  by Mike Adams (naturalnews.com)
> On the heels of the RIAA's recent decision to criminalize consumers  who 
> rip songs from albums they've purchased to their computers (or  iPods), 
> the association has now gone one step further and declared  that 
> 'remembering songs' using your brain is criminal copyright  infringement. 
> 'The brain is a recording device,' explained RIAA  president Cary Sherman. 
> 'The act of listening is an unauthorized act  of copying music to that 
> recording device, and the act of recalling or  remembering a song is 
> unauthorized playback.'
> The RIAA also said it would begin sending letters to tens of millions  of 
> consumers thought to be illegally remembering songs, threatening  them 
> with lawsuits if they don't settle with the RIAA by paying  monetary 
> damages. 'We will aggressively pursue all copyright  infringement in order 
> to protect our industry,' said Sherman.
> In order to avoid engaging in unauthorized copyright infringement, 
> consumers will now be required to immediately forget everything  they've 
> just heard.  To aid in these memory wiping efforts, the RIAA  is teaming 
> up with Big Pharma to include free psychotropic  prescription drugs with 
> the purchase of new music albums. Consumers  are advised to swallow the 
> pills before listening to the music. The  pills -- similar to the 
> amphetamines now prescribed for ADHD -- block  normal cognitive function, 
> allowing consumers to enjoy the music in a  more detached state without 
> the risk of accidentally remembering any  songs (and thereby violating 
> copyright law).
> Consumers caught humming their favorite songs will be charged with a  more 
> serious crime: The public performance of a copyrighted song, for  which 
> the fines can reach over $250,000 per incident. 'Humming,  singing and 
> whistling songs will not be tolerated,' said Sherman.  'Only listening and 
> forgetting songs is allowed.'
> Consumers attempting to circumvent the RIAA's new memory-wiping 
> technology by actually remembering songs will be charged with felony 
> crimes under provisions of the DMCA (Digital Millenium Copyright Act). 
> The Act, passed in 1998, makes it a felony crime to circumvent  copyright 
> protection technologies. The RIAA's position is that  consumers who 
> actually use their brains while listening to music are  violating the 
> DMCA. 'We would prefer that consumers stop using their  brains 
> altogether,' said Sherman.
> With this decision, the RIAA now considers approximately 72% of the  adult 
> U.S. population to be criminals. Putting them all in prison for  copyright 
> infringement would cost U.S. taxpayers an estimated $683  billion per 
> year -- an amount that would have to be shouldered by the  remaining 28% 
> who are not imprisoned. The RIAA believes it could cover  the $683 billion 
> tab through royalties on music sales. The problem  with that? The 28% 
> remaining adults not in prison don't buy music  albums. That means album 
> sales would plummet to nearly zero, and the  U.S. government (which is 
> already deep in debt) would have to borrow  money to pay for all the 
> prisons. And where would the borrowed money  come from? China, of course: 
> The country where music albums are openly  pirated and sold for monetary 
> gain.
> When asked whether he really wants 72% of the U.S. population to be 
> imprisoned for ripping music CDs to their own brains, RIAA president 
> Sherman shot back, 'You don't support criminal behavior do you? Every 
> person who illegally remembers a song is a criminal. We can't have 
> criminal running free on the streets of America. It's an issue of 
> national security.'
> NOTE: This is a satire report on the RIAA. That means it's written as 
> fictional humor. It does not yet represent the actual position of the 
> RIAA, although from the way things are going, the association may soon 
> adopt it. Permission is granted to make copies of this story, 
> redistribute it, post it and e-mail it as long as you do not actually 
> remember it because copying to your brain is now strictly prohibited.  Any 
> attempts to circumvent the  memory-based copyright restrictions on  this 
> article will result in your brain  imploding, causing such an  extreme 
> loss of cognitive function that your only hope for any future  career will 
> be running for public office.
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