[Dixielandjazz] A New Musical Glossary

[Steve Barbone]

 NEW MUSICAL GLOSSARY

In an effort to keep you abreast of the ever-changing world of musical
terminology, check these out....

Adagio Fromaggio -- To play in a slow and cheese-y manner.

AnDante -- A musical composition that is infernally slow.

Angus Dei -- To play with a divine, beefy tone.

Anti-phonal -- The prohibition of cell phones in the venue.

A Patella -- Unaccompanied knee slapping.

Appologgiatura -- A composition, solo, or instrument you regret playing.

Approximatura -- A series of notes played by a performer, not intended by
the composer.

Approximento -- Music somewhat in the vicinity of the correct pitch.

Bar Line -- What musicians form after a concert.
 
Choclo Molto -- What recovering alcoholic musicians drink.

Concerto Grossissimo -- A really bad performance.

Coral Symphony -- (see Beethoven-Caribbean period).

Cornetti Trombosis Disastrous -- The entanglement of brass instruments that
can occur when musicians exit hastily down the stage stairs.

Dill Piccolino -- A wind instrument that plays only sour notes.

Fermantra -- A note that is held over and over and over and....

Fermoota -- A rest of indefinite length and dubious value.

Fog Hornoso -- A sound heard when the tuba's intentions are not clear.

Frugalhorn -- A sensible, inexpensive, brass instrument.
 
Furioso e violento -- A punk rock musical expression
 
Gaul Blatter -- A French horn player.

Good Conductor -  A person who gives an electrifying performance.

Gregorian Champ -- Monk who can hold a note the longest.

Kvetchendo -- Gradually getting annoyingly louder.

Mallade -- A romantic song that's pretty awful.

Molto bolto -- Headed straight for the ending.

Opera buffa -- Musical stage production by nudists.
 
Pizza Caldo -- What is delivered to the band before a performance.

Poochini Musical -- Performance accompanied by a dog.

Pre-Classical Conservatism -- School of thought which fostered the idea,"If
it ain't baroque, don't fix it."
 
Rigoletto! -- The anguished cry as a particularly hard piece is evacuated.

Spritzicato -- Plucking of a stringed instrument to produce a bright, bubbly
sound, usually accompanied by sparkling water with lemon (wine optional).
 
SPQR -- A notation placed by a middle horn player next to an orchestration
of "The Fountains of Rome."  An anagram for "Sono pazzi questi Romani."  For
those who are musicians, SPQR refers to Senatus PopulusQue Romanus ("The
Senate and the Roman People"), referring to the government of the ancient
Roman Republic.

Tempo Tantrumo -- When a young band refuses to keep time with the drummer.

Tincanabulation -- The annoying or irritating sounds made by extremely cheap
cymbals.

Vacante spacia -- A hoped for parking space outside the concert hall.
 
Vesuvioso -- A gradual buildup to a fiery conclusion.
 
ZZZZ Non sonno con gli occhi si apre -- Don't you go to sleep.
 
ZZZfortzando -- Playing REALLY loud in order to wake up the audience