[Dixielandjazz] The Last Recording

[Robert S. Ringwald]

THE LAST RECORDING

A musician who's spent his entire life trying to get a record deal is
feeling extremely
depressed.  He's been turned-down by every record company he's ever
contacted.  No
one seems to recognize his unique genius.
So, he decides to top himself, and comes up with an ingenious plan to get
back at
all the record companies who've rejected him all of his life.

He books time at a recording studio, and instructs the sound engineer to
record everything
he says, and every sound he hears, and then copy it all onto 500 CDs, and
send one
to every record company executive on the list that he hands the engineer.

The guy walks into the vocal booth; the red light is on, and he
begins...."This is
a message for all you sycophantic, talentless, stupid record company
ass-holes who've
ignored me for all these years.  I've dedicated my life to writing and
performing
beautiful, emotive, soul-touching music, and all you bastards do is discard
my tapes,
and sign these horrible, no-talent, ridiculous, stupid bands, and these
filthy, dirty
rappers!
Well, you bunch of fuckin' morons; you dumb pricks, I've taken all I can of
your
puerile, shallow industry, and it's YOU who've driven me to this!  Goodbye
you fuckin'
murderers of art!"

With that, he places a gun to his head and blows his brains out.

The sound engineer looks up from the console, hits the talk-back button, and
says, "Okay.  That's fine.
I've got a good level.  Let's go for one."


--Bob Ringwald K6YBV
530/642-9551
916/806-9551 Cell
www.ringwald.com
Fulton Street Jazz Band

"I can resist everything except temptation."  --Oscar Wilde, 1854 - 1900