[Dixielandjazz] Why do people love bad art?

[Dan Augustine]

Folks--
     Hummpf!  An upstart latter-day laggard, pretender to the Wurst 
Band's throne of incompetence!
     We of the Wurst Band have been plowing this uncertain field since 
i joined it in 1979, and its unnamed brethren were doing it far 
before that date at Scholz's Garten in Austin, Texas.  And i know 
Brother Richoux and others on this fine List have also been playing 
for years -- nay, decades -- in similar semi-musical clottings around 
the country.
     Here's the blurb i sent out last May to announce our new season:
---------------
Lovers of fine music--
     Please delete this message now, and then go wash your hands, 
tongue, and brain with strong soap.

Fans of and players in The Wurst Band--
     Greetings.  I figured that would strain the unbelievers out.
     It's that time again.  For the players, dust off that old 
clarinet, shake the succotash out of that saxophone, and run a 
garden-hose's water at approximately 153 ft-lbs/sec through that old 
sousaphone (so _that's_ where the dog was sick!), and bring it, a 
music stand, and your somewhat disreputable self down to Scholz's on 
Thursday, May 3rd, a skosh before 8 pm (Marty and Darlene, you know 
to do your own thing here).
     For you benighted tone-deaf individuals in the audience, we love 
you.  Who else is willing to sit through two hours of unbridled 
cacophony disguised as polka and march music?  You may want to invest 
in another bale or two of cotton (your ears, you know), a fresh stack 
of Depends (don't ask, unless you're an astronaut), and a heightened 
level of musical sophistication that would gag a goat (sorry, you 
goats out there in Eldorado).
     Unless you've been living under a rock in Wabuska, Nevada, for 
the past 29 years, you know that The Wurst Band plays every Thursday 
from 8 to 10 pm in May, June, and September at Scholz Bier Garten 
(1607 San Jacinto; see http://www.scholzgarten.net/Page7.html). 
     While 'play' might be a bit too ameliorative (think the opposite 
of 'pejorative' for you folks who made less than 800 on your SAT) a 
term for what we do to melody, harmony, and rhythm, the music we do 
it to isn't all that great anyway.  I mean, the first set of German 
polkas, waltzes, and so forth should remind the careful listener of 
their childhood in Cleveland and a visit by the Guckenheimer Sour 
Kraut Band (who immediately became the _best_ band in Cleveland). 
This aural onslaught is, after all, why Germans drink so much beer 
(it dulls the senses and glosses over the trombones playing a 
different song, the drummers rushing the tempo, and the trumpets 
fighting among themselves to play 3rd).  The second set devolves to a 
gallimaufry of Sousa marches (sorry, J. P.), Broadway show-tunes (in 
shows that closed after one night), 'popular' songs of the 1950s 
(yeah, among ax-murderers and dyspeptic sea-captains), and bad 
arrangements of "New York, New York" (love that last high Ab in the 
trumpets).  The furious pace of the first two sets, coupled with the 
band's consumption of beer between and during the sets, explains the 
nature of the third set, in which the band plays the shortest tunes 
that can be found, to a rapidly dwindling number of listeners in the 
audience.  However, we console ourselves with the old Limeliters 
line, "Yes, i _know_ they liked us: they rarely left in _groups_."
     So there you have it.  Come down to Scholz's on May 3 at 8 pm and 
partake in yet another season of the finest music this side (the 
bottom side, unfortunately) of Uncle Al's Septic Tankers and Musical 
Gurglers.

     Dan Augustine (Master Gurgler since 1979)
--
**--------------------------------------------------------------------**
**  Dan Augustine  --  Austin, Texas  --  ds.augustine at mail.utexas.edu
**     "A vile beastly rottenheaded foolbegotten brazenthroated      
**      pernicious piggish screaming, tearing, roaring, perplexing,  
**      splitmecrackle crashmecriggle insane ass of a woman is       
**      practicing howling below-stairs with a brute of a singing    
**      master so horribly that my head is nearly off."              
**        -- Edward Lear (1812-1888), letter to Lady Strachey, 1859
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>Date: Mon, 27 Aug 2007 09:43:55 -0400
>From: Steve Barbone <barbonestreet at earthlink.net>
>Subject: [Dixielandjazz] Why do people love bad art?
>Cc: Dixieland Jazz Mailing List <dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com>
>
>CAVEAT: Not really OKOM, but a fun read which asks and answers the question,
>Why do people love bad art using the popularity of the Edinburgh Band, the
>"Really Terrible Orchestra" as an example.
>
>A heartening message to all of us really terrible players out there is that
>there is indeed a niche out there for us if we do it right. <grin>
>
>Cheers,
>Steve Barbone
>
>
>Lousy Is the Best They Can Ever Be
>NY TIMES - By MICHAEL WHITE - August 26, 2007 - LONDON
>
>THE Edinburgh Festival may be one of the world's great arts fixtures, but
>its Fringe festival has always operated like a national freak show, opening
>nonjudgmental arms to anything that could be said to pass as entertainment.
>Proust on Rollerblades, Ibsen in drag, your favorite Wagner moments whistled
>by a chorus in gorilla suits: old-timers will have seen and usually passed
>by it all. And being passed by is the shared experience of Fringe events.
>They tend to play obscurely, in church halls and basement rooms to audiences
>of 16, barely noticed, instantly forgotten.
><the rest of the article has been mercifully snipped>

-- 
**--------------------------------------------------------------------**
**  Dan Augustine  --  Austin, Texas  --  ds.augustine at mail.utexas.edu
**             "O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet."            
**                     -- St. Augustine (354-430)                    
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