[Dixielandjazz] Clarinetist Looking for Work

Cees van den Heuvel heu at bart.nl
Tue Oct 3 17:47:31 PDT 2006

I took it seriously :)
About 80% anyway.
A player with that attitude would have been
welcome in my band anytime.

Cees van den Heuvel

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Rick Knittel" <knittelsportland at juno.com>
To: <Gluetje1 at aol.com>
Cc: <tradjazz at list.okom.com>; <dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com>; 
<jazzmusiciansforum at JazzMusiciansForum.talklist.com>
Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2006 2:17 AM
Subject: Re: [Dixielandjazz] Clarinetist Looking for Work

> Ginny;
> I was not serious. I received it a joke from another musician and
> forwarded it because I thought it was hilarious. I later got a message
> advising me that the sender thought it was a serious message from a real
> clarinetist. It was hard for me to believe that it was not a joke.
> Rick
> On Tue, 3 Oct 2006 18:31:18 EDT Gluetje1 at aol.com writes:
> Rick, I am so naive that I have to ask if you are kidding?  Because if
> you are serious, you have stated so many things you will not accept that
> you qualify for musician's disability.  Anyhow, thanks for the exhaustive
> list of things that bug someone.  Makes me less than humble about my
> tolerance level by comparison.
> Ginny
> In a message dated 10/3/2006 8:59:53 A.M. Central Daylight Time,
> knittelsportland at juno.com writes:
> Rick Knittel - The Maine Street Paraders
> 37 Ship Channel Road; South Portland, Maine 04106-5136
> Bus phone; (207)-741-2407; fax 2409; Cell: (207)-233-3480; Home;
> (207)-799-6382
> E-mail; Knittelsportland at juno.com; Winter (mid Jan to mid April) Office;
> 7657 Bergamo Ave; Sarasota, FL 34238-4765; Phone/Fax; (941)-924-5186
> Clarinetist Looking for Work
> 16+ year's professional experience. Specializing in serious presentations
> of pre-WWII traditions of clarinet performance including New Orleans
> Jazz, Brazilian Choro, and French West Indian Biguine. Large repertoire
> of jazz
> standards.   Reading OK, Travel OK,  Basic linguistic skills in French,
> German, and Italian.  No drugs, health problems, or dietary limitations.
> Union member in good standing.  No social, political, or religious
> affiliations.   Doubles on alto or tenor saxophone negotiable.
> (I own a soprano, but in accordance with well-established codes of
> gentlemanly conduct, I do not play one.)
> PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND to this message IF:
> Your band, concert, or project name uses rhyme, alliteration, puns,
> animal names, or includes any of the following words or their variants:
> Swingers, Strutters, Stompers, Ramblers, Hot, Dixieland, Tribute, or
> Legacy.
> [For example: Dixie Dogs of Des Moines, Hot Jumpin' Jazz Lizards, The
> Four-Skinny-Minnies Swing Band, Down-Home-Ragtimers Tribute to Wilbur
> Sweatman, etc.]   The use of All-Stars' is negotiable provided some team
> sport or athletic activity is involved;
> Your dress code or group's uniform includes ANY of the following:
> White pants or shoes, suspenders, matching golf shirts, matching blazers,
> or any type of hats. Anything made of polyester is out of the question,
> and as a friend in the fashion industry says, 'Denim is just never a good
> idea.'
> I also require assurance that the performance will not be within 50 yards
> of a garter, striped vest, bowler hat, straw boater, feather boa or
> anything with sequins;
> Your rhythm section includes electric keyboard and/or bass guitar.
> Washboard is negotiable in the proper context, although offhand I have no
> idea what that would be;
> You or any of your band members have a spouse or girlfriend who sings,
> purports to sing, or so much as threatens to sing;
> Anyone involved in your proposed performance attempts a 'scat' vocal
> More than half of the selections in a typical program consist of vocal
> numbers or are limited to the keys of Bb and F.   Gospel programs are an
> acceptable exception, but the singer better be damned brilliant;
> Your program includes any of the following:  note-for-note
> transcriptions, sing-alongs, or banjo features.  Furthermore, if there is
> tuba or sousaphone their solos must be limited to a maximum of one per
> set and may never exceed two choruses;
> At anytime during your performance, parasols are deployed. Legitimate
> second-lines are the ONLY exception, in which case an additional 25% for
> strolling/marching applies;
> Your proposed venue spends more on sound reinforcement or amplification
> than artist fees.
> Compensation for your job includes ANY of the following: All the beer you
> can drink, a free meal, good publicity or exposure, or bringing a spouse
> girlfriend, or companion for free.  hank you in advance for your
> consideration. --
> _______________________________________________
> Rick Knittel - RK Associates, LLC - Film Extrusion Engineering Services
> 37 Ship Channel Road; South Portland, Maine 04106-5136
> Bus phone; (207)-741-2407; fax 2409; Cell: (207)-233-3480; Home;
> (207)-799-6382
> E-mail; Knittelsportland at juno.com; Winter (mid Jan to mid April) Office;
> 7657 Bergamo Ave; Sarasota, FL 34238-4765; Phone/Fax; (941)-924-5186
> _______________________________________________
> Dixielandjazz mailing list
> Dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com
> http://ml.islandnet.com/mailman/listinfo/dixielandjazz
> -- 
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