[Dixielandjazz] Hum a few bars

Bill Haesler bhaesler at bigpond.net.au
Mon Oct 2 23:56:18 PDT 2006

Dear mates,
A similar piece appeared on the DJML some years ago, which managed to upset
a few of our musician listmates musically.
See what you can do with this one.

A "C", an "E-flat" and a "G" go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but
don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open
fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F
in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
Then a D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom, saying,
"excuse me, I will be a second."
An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this
relation of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at
the end of the bar and exclaims, "get out now! You're the seventh minor I've
found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back into the bar the next night in a
three piece suit with nicely polished shoes. The bartender (who used to have
a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking
sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a new development."
This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything
else, and stands there au natural. Eventually the C sobers up, and realises
in horror that he's under a resolution.
C is brought to trial, and is found guilty of contributing to the diminution
of a minor, and sentenced to ten years of DS without Coda at an upscale
correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even
accidental, and the accusations to the contrary are bass-less.
The bartender, however, decides that since he's only had tenor so patrons,
the soprano in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he
needs a rest, and closes down the bar.

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