[Dixielandjazz] And so it came to pass..(Music,Music,Music)

Kaye Wade kaye at kayewade.com
Wed Mar 1 13:01:05 PST 2006


I suppose most of you have seen this, but I liked it so...

Subject: And so it came to pass...

And so it came to pass, during one date, that the Sidemen were  
assailed by doubts, and darkness descended upon the bandstand.  And  
the Leader turned to his quaking flock, and saith, "My children, why  
do you doubt me? Have I not led you through the Valley of the Loading  
Dock to the Great Land of Long Breaks, Hot Meals, and Undertime?   
Have I not banished the dreaded 'Macarena' from the set List, and  
allowed thee to blow on selected numbers? Do we not play the correct  
changes for the bridge of 'Girl From Ipanema', and do we not play  
Motown selections at the proper tempos? And do I not pay you all  
equitably, neither overpaying the Chick Singers nor underpaying the  
Horn Players?  And are there not Charts for the Horns, so that thou  
need no Fake Parts?  So why doth thou protest when I call The Willie  
Nelson Song, or The Jackson 5 Ballad? Are they not preferable to  
'Achey Breaky Heart' or anything by Celine Dion?  Wouldst thou rather  
suffer Flung Beverage containers or Scowls and Hectoring by the Aunts  
and Uncles?"

And the Sidemen answered him, "But Father, we look out into the Dance  
Floor, and we see The Maelstrom; We fear the Youngsters with Pierced  
Body Parts, as well as the Ancient Ones with Canes and Walkers; Also  
do we fear the Bridesmaids with the Large Hair, and the Groomsmen  
with Cigars and Disheveled Tuxedos; Also do we fear the Relatives  
from the Great Southwest, as well as those from California, and from  
New York; Also do we regard with Fear and Loathing the Party Planner,  
and the Room Captain; But mostly do we fear the Bride, and Her  
Mother, who ruleth the Earth, yea, even above you, our Leader."

And the Leader looked and saw that this was true.  And he took his  
Book, and he flung it into the Buffet Heaters And he took his Baton,  
and he broke it over his knee; And he took his Red Bow Tie, and he  
rent it asunder; And he turned to the Party Planner, and he said,  
"Now you have no power over me, Minion of Evil"; And he turned to the  
Room Captain, and he said, "I will leave by the Lobby Entrance"; And  
he turned to the Bride, and said, "Take thy Whitney Houston CD and  
place it where thy Groom may find it during your Honeymoon"; And he  
turned to the Bride's Mother and said, "Thy Daughter is a Spoiled  
Brat, and I hope that she soon Divorces her Callow Husband and  
returneth to live with thee with her three children for the rest of  
thy Natural Life;" And he turned to the drummer and said, "The band  
is yours." And he went home and slept deeply and soundly, and arose  
the next day smiling, and began making calls to find work as a Sideman.

------
Kaye Wade
Stuntwoman-Actress, Vocalist & Bandleader
Kaye Wade's Riverboat Ramblers,
The Tinsel Town Ten Minus - 3,
San Fernando Valley Banjo Bnd/
Jazz'n Banjos  and  a Reflexologist

PO Box 1068 Studio City  CA. 91614-1068
Kaye at KayeWade.com
http://www.KayeWade.com





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