[Dixielandjazz] You think you've got travel with horns problems? Think again.

[dingle at baldwin-net.com]

After wading through the posts about transporting axii through air 
travel mazes, I feel compelled to share these experiences just to show 
you that it ain't as bad as you think it is -- it could be worse.
While on a tour with the Sons of Bix to do a 20-day swing through Europs 
and England,  we had worked out a shuttle system in moving a pile of  
horns and luggage on planes and trains. The airlines were not too bad at 
that time ('79) but making changes of trains in Germany was a real 
Oriental Fire Drill. German trains do run on time and we had times when 
we had to move our horns, luggage and spouses - plus one pair of  
groupies (Dave Jellema's aunt and uncle) that made the tour with us. On 
one switch we had a total of vie minutes to get off one train, down the 
long platform to get over the another platfor across from us. We worked 
like a special ops team in making this several tmes but this time the 
time was very tight. So when we got into the station, two of us went 
outside to grab the cases, suitcases, and assorted flotsum and jetsum we 
handed out the train windows. Then we all went out and some of us jumped 
into the open track area between the two platforms and began to pass the 
stuff over to the other platform.
At this point a German train guard came running up, shouting..."nein, 
nein, das ist verboten, vorboten" (Keep in mind that this was the time 
of the Bader-Meinhof terror group and that the gaurds were carrying 
loaded automatic rifles.) We just played dumb(that was the easy part), 
shrugged at the irate guard and kept passing the stuff over. Idiot me, I 
just smiled at the guard and said in my best vaudville Low Dutch... "Vo 
ist der Bier stube, bitter?...We're thirsty Americans," and joined the 
others as we put the last of the stuff through a window on the other train.
The guard, looking as if he wouldn't mind lock and loading at the time, 
finally just shrugged and said something like "Gott damn Americanischers!!"
To add to the moment, the last one on, Glenn "Pappy" Koch, smiled at the 
guard, tupped his cap, and  said..."Have a nice day" at whch point the 
train started up just in time to carry us out of rifle range.

Then there's the matter of a case strong enough to stand the rigor of 
travel. Case in  point was the custom made bass sax case that Russ 
Whitman had made to order to protect his big horn. It was made of 3/4 
inch marine plywood, reenforced strong enought to withstand a drive over 
by a tank. It was padded better then some coffins, which in fact it did 
resemble. And it took several of us who were certified hernia free to 
help him load and carry. Russ said that if something happened to him on 
the road, they could use it to plant him. Without the sax of ourse!.

Surprisingly we managed to fly all the the country to play festivals as 
well as Europe and somehow never lost a horn or had one refused -- 
because the first thing we did was make contact with the head baggage 
manager and made special arrangements. (Slipping the guy a few paper 
presidents didn't hurt,either.)

So, things may have changed but  I doubt if many will be able to top 
this story of the foibles of the road via public transportation. (Though 
I could tell you about being one of the surviors of the most far 
northern bus crashes in recorded transportation history in Alaska near 
the Arctic Ocean, but that's another story!)

Don Ingle