[Dixielandjazz] Taxes

[Talegatorz at aol.com]

>From Milton Berle's Private Joke Book  Three Rivers Press New York:

Panicked by a letter telling him that an IRS audit is upcoming, a man calls 
his accountant, who responds, "Don't worry. I have all the bills and papers. 
I've got every receipt. But let me give you one word of caution. When you show 
up there, dress like a derelict-torn jacket, torn shirt, old shoes. If the 
auditor sees that you're poor, he won't come down hard on you."
Still concerned, the man phones his attorney and explains the situation. The 
attorney says, "I'm sure your accountant has everything under control. You'll 
do fine. But one thing-dress well. The auditor will see that you look nice, 
you're respectable, and obviously a man of responsibility. Surely you wouldn't 
lie on your tax returns. He'll give you a break."
More mixed up than ever, the man goes to his minister and again explains the 
difficult problem. The minister says, "I have the same problem with 
marriages. The
mother of the bride wants her daughter to dress like an old fashioned girl. 
She wants her daughter to look nice on her honeymoon, but not wild enough to 
bring out the beast in her groom. The bride's father, on the other hand, wants 
her to be provocative,
He wants her to wear something revealing. I tell the bride, 'What you wear 
doesn't matter. You're still going to get screwed!' "

Gus Bloch