[Dixielandjazz] Strange Gig

[J. D. Bryce]

After reading several of the member posts on this subject, I simply had to send this.  The gig was for a wedding at a place called Martin's Crosswinds in the Greenbelt, MD are near Washington.  The gig was a traditional Indian wedding.  That's Indian as in India. 

In the DC area, dixieland usually means clarinet, banjo and tuba.  Dave Littlefield (our Sheik) booked the gig and played banjo.  Tom Hultz from the Marine band played helicon and I was on clarinet.

The tradition was that the groom rides an elephant from the ceremony (at the Holiday Inn) to the reception (in Martin's Crosswinds) next door, accompanied by musicians (us) and dancing girls.  In this case, a horse was substituted for the elephant.  So the groom, dressed in a satin and brocade outfit, wearing a colorful turban, is sitting on this enormous, ornate saddle on a white horse. There is a guy behind him holding a long pole with an umbrella on the end over the groom's head.  There are dancing girls in bright saris and silk veils all around.  

So we start playing as they're getting ready to parade. The mother of groom is unhappy with our music. It's not what she expected.  Apparently, she had described what she wanted to the booking agent, and he told her what she was looking for was a "dixieland band."  She agreed without having any idea what a trad jazz band sounded like. The agent booked us.  Now she's unhappy.  She wants us to play along with recorded music she has on a boom box sitting on the tailgate of a station wagon.  The music is Indian ragas with sitars chimes bells and God knows what all else in thirteen-seven tempos and in keys and scales that don't even correspond to western music.  Littlefield tells her it is impossible.  She wants it anyway.

Lacking a choice, we play along with the boom box ragas.  The predictable result is cacaphony.  The parade starts. The girls dance, complete with finger cimbals in front of the costumed groom on the horse with the umbrella over his head.  The parade lasts perhaps ten minutes. I cannot remember what tunes we played, but there were up tempoed with no solos.  

After the parade, we play a few more minutes as everybody enters the reception hall and then we're done. We were there for perhaps two hours and played for only half an hour. As we packed up, Tom Hultz just kept shaking his head and muttering. Dave Littlefield said, "Look on the bright side. We're getting paid and it's definately one you'll remember."

This story is true.  Just ask the Sheik.

Jack Bryce
(one of Littlefield's minions)