[Dixielandjazz] "Senior Moments"

[Martin Nichols]

OKOM 
 
Connection: Age and lounges> 
 
OKOM connection: "Age and cocktail lounge."
 
  Senior Moments

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well
groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of
a good after shave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into
an upscale cocktail lounge.

Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties).

The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink,
takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

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An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of
years. He went! to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him
fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the
doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit
around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench
under a tree when one turns to the other and says . . .

"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I
know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a new-born baby."

"Really!? Like a new-born baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

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Dinner
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after
eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out
to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."

The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name
of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one
that's red and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the
kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

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Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being
discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one
elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a
suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him
to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom
changing out of her hospital gown."