[Dixielandjazz] New Musical Terms

[Steve barbone]

"New Musical Terms That Don't Exist But Should." For example:

IMPROVALIENATE (im prov aa' lee un ate) v. To play on chord changes you know
when the tune's real changes are too difficult (i.e. "I Got Rhythm" for
"There'll Be Some Changes Made").

HALEBOPITUDE (hale bop' a tude) n. The act of "taking it outside" when lost
in a solo that has no hope of getting home.

GEETARDY (gi' tar dee, or gi tar' dee) adj. When the guitarist arrives late
for the gig.

BONEFIED (bone' a fide) v. p.t. What happens to the heads of big band
saxophone players when the trombone section lets things slide too far.

REHARM (ree' harm) v. 1. To reharmonize by using substitute chords. 2. To
cause even more damage to the song on your second chorus.

MORENDO KEVORKIAN (moor en' doe ku vork' e an) adj. Slower and softer, until
the music completely dies out.

YANNI RIGAMORTONI (yan' ee rig a mor tony) adj. Hollow, empty, and without
meaning. (See also KENNY JEE PERISM).

NEWT FLUTE (noot' floot) n. An instrument in the woodwind family that makes
loud squeaking noises when played from the extreme right side of the mouth.

FLOOL (floo' ul) n. The standard game of pool played with a flute in place
of the cue stick.

CRACKER - (crack' er) v. First note of the trombone solo in Ory's Creole
Trombone.

SNARITY- (snair' ritty) v. Degree of crispness of a snare drum sound.
 
CLARIPHYLL - (clar' if ill) n.  A green solution that you soak your reed in.
It makes your clarinet smell minty.
 
FIDDLORITY- (fidl' orrity) n. What the Concertmaster feels about his
instrument as compared to those of the other members of his section.
 
BASSOONER - (bass' ooner) v. When the bass player speeds more than the
drummer or pianist.
 
OBONER - (oh boner') v. Why the soloist must remain seated while playing I
Want A Little Girl.
  
BANJOLF - (ban'jolf) n. The standard game of golf played with a banjo
instead clubs. (See also BANMINTON, BENNIS, BANBALL and BANPUT.)
 
CONDOCTRIN - (con dock' trin) n. Interpretation by the comductor; also a
nasal spray that claims to reduce the swelling of the Band Leader's head.