[Dixielandjazz] Slide trumpets now

[Bob Romans]

ROTFLMAO...very good!
Now, let's get into the slide trumpet bit...have any of you ever heard Noel 
Weidkamp on slide trumpet, with Devil Mountain? (He played with Cell Block 7 
our last "Pub Crawl" in the UK). He's an ARTIST!!!!!
Bob Romans
----- Original Message ----- 
From: <dingle at baldwin-net.com>
To: "Bob Romans" <cellblk7 at comcast.net>
Cc: <dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com>; "Joe Cisneros" <JOE at BIEGELLAW.COM>; 
"Howard Miyata" <boneman at garlic.com>; "Janie Siess" <jhsiess at comcast.net>
Sent: Tuesday, February 08, 2005 12:34 PM
Subject: Re: [Dixielandjazz] Trombones at risk!!


> Bob Romans wrote:
>
>>I KNEW it would come to this!
>>
>>br
>>
>>WASHINGTON, D.C.- Each year thousands are people are killed, maimed
>>
>>or annoyed by trombones. The statistics of head, neck and even shoulder
>>
>>injuries sustained by reed players, french horn and string sections
>>
>>seated within reach of the deadly seventh position are truly
>>
>>shocking...not
>>
>>to mention forced early retirement due to ever-increasing hearing
>>
>>problems
>>
>>reported by classical musicians of all types who are forced to play the
>>
>>music of Wagner, Mahler and Brahms, as well as the hundreds of alumni
>>
>>of the Herman, Ferguson and Kenton bands and devotees of Kid Ory, Jack
>>
>>Teagarden, Abe Lincoln Jim Robinson and Lee Gifford.
>>
>>There is current legislation pending in Congress to restrict the sale of
>>
>>trombones and equip them with child-safety devices. The influential
>>
>>trombone lobby is, of course, opposed to this. There have even been
>>
>>several
>>
>>proposals for requiring a so-called "trigger lock" on all bass
>>
>>trombones!
>>
>>Every year there are reports of hundreds of innocent children,
>>
>>attracted by
>>
>>the shiny brass and smooth, seductive curves of an unattended
>>
>>instrument on a stand in the corner of a room or in an unlocked case who
>>
>>are traumatized for life by the attempts of a playmate to get a sound
>>
>>out of it, or who may suffer a collapsed lung or the effects of
>>
>>hyperventilation by trying the same effort themselves! The owner's
>>
>>feeble "I didn't know the slide was unlocked" is no excuse! Trombones
>>
>>should be stored out of reach of
>>
>>children. Efforts to enact a mandatory 10-day waiting period to
>>
>>purchase a trombone which would simply allow a reasonable period of
>>
>>time for law
>>
>>enforcement officials to cross-check the purchaser's name against an
>>
>>International list of registered trombone offenders and Slide-O-Mix
>>
>>addicts, have been repeatedly thwarted by the powerful
>>
>>Conn-Selmer-Yamaha (CSY) lobby. Law enforcement officials are
>>
>>particularly alarmed over the increase in crimes involving use of the
>>
>>"sawed-off" trombone or "sackbut." Legislation
>>
>>is also pending in several progressive states, including New York and
>>
>>California, to make carrying a concealed alto trombone a Class A felony!
>>
>>Some Governors feel that there are sufficient laws already on the books
>>
>>that simply need stricter enforcement - such as the 1932 nation-wide
>>
>>ban of screw-on bells, the indiscriminate use of Pond's Cold Cream or KY
>>
>>Jelly and
>>
>>unsupervised emptying of spit valves on public property. This filthy,
>>
>>unsanitary habit which will help spread the flu this year. One popular
>>
>>response to the spread of delinquent behavior is the imposition of
>>
>>mandatory longer sentences for those using a trombone while committing a
>>
>>crime ("Use
>>
>>a trombone - Go to jail"). Surveillance video tapes have proven
>>
>>especially
>>
>>effective in identifying violators of this statute because career
>>
>>criminals
>>
>>have often tried to avoid convictions by having their lawyers insist
>>
>>that what eye-witnesses reported as a trombone was really only an AK-47
>>
>>or other legal assaul weapon. Strict enforcement has been especially
>>
>>effective when used in conjunction with the new "Three sharps, you're
>>
>>out" statutes that have already been approved by many state
>>
>>legislatures.
>>
>>
>>
>>Of course the automatic and semi-automatic valved models - both piston and 
>>the middle-European rotary, are much more dangerous than the traditional 
>>single valve trombone. Interpol has also reported the sudden
>>
>>appearance of of rear-blasting Cavalry models that were thought to have
>>
>>been completely eliminated during the Great Confiscation mandated by the
>>
>>1918 Treaty of Versailles signed by representatives of every civilized
>>
>>country of the period. You may recall that those instruments were melted
>>
>>down and became an integral part of the Trans-Atlantic Telephone Cable
>>
>>that helped to unite America and Europe. It is believed that the new
>>
>>source of these WMD's are isolated factories in rural areas of China.
>>
>>The awesome destructive power of the double trigger bass trombone could
>>
>>never have been imagined by the founding fathers when they granted us
>>
>>the right to keep and bear arms.
>>
>>Remember:
>>
>>When trombones are outlawed,
>>
>>only outlaws will play
>>
>>"I'm Gettin'Sentimental Over You."
>>
>>
>>
>>Warm regards,
>>Bob Romans
>>Cell Block 7 Jazz Band
>>1617 Lakeshore Dr.
>>Lodi, Ca. 95242
>>209-339-4676
>>www.cellblockseven2002.net
>>Cell 209-747-1148
>>Because I play trumpet, I envy no one.
>>""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
>>_______________________________________________
>>Dixielandjazz mailing list
>>Dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com
>>http://ml.islandnet.com/mailman/listinfo/dixielandjazz
>>
>>
> Dear Sound Police:
> Aha, I see your demented nannyisms  have now included the valved trombone. 
> Well, now the bearer of such news must pay the penalty.
> We know where you live, and if you try to make any move to ban 
> trombones -- especially the more deadly valved trombone -- you will pay 
> dearly.
> We will play to your wife, to your mother and father, your children and 
> your close associates. No pleas for mercy will be find relief.
> If you choose to continue down this path of Big Brother musical 
> dictatorship, expect to find retaliation swift and unrelenting.
> If the direct hit of sound waves from  standard or valve trombone does not 
> have you writhing in pain, bleeding fromt bhe eardrums, and
> waving the white flag, we will send our ultimate weapon of  mass 
> destruction - Jim Maihack blowing a triple FFF FONK!
> Back off or be blown away.
> The League of Phantom Sackbuttists
> (Because we play trombone we fear no trumpet players, either!).
>
>