[Dixielandjazz] Trombones - Dangerous Weapons

[Edgerton, Paul A]

Really it is ridiculous to single out the bass trombone for trigger lock
regulations. 

First of all, most proper bass trombones have TWO triggers, not one. The
apparatus required to lock two triggers would be more than an overtaxed bass
trombonist can manage, given the numerous permutations of triggers and slide
positions.

And speaking of slide positions, it not widely recognized that with the
trigger engaged, a bass trombone has only FIVE positions, far short of the
SEVEN positions available to the ordinary trombonist.

The real "Saturday Night Special" of the trombone world is the King 2B,
which is known on the street as a "Pea Shooter" for good reason.

Did you know that every trombone manufactured for civilian use since WWI
includes a safety? The proper use of the trombone safety, also known as a
slide lock, could save hundreds of lives each year. What we really need is a
federally-mandated trombonist safety course, and registration of all
trombones. Perhaps banjoists could be hired to do routine trombone
inspections at bus stations around the country.

Remember, trombones don't kill people, trombonists do.

-- Paul Edgerton
Who says, "Don't forget about VALVE trombonists..." 
(Not that there's anything wrong with that!)