[Dixielandjazz] pet musical peeves

Tom Wood zenith at ans.com.au
Wed Jul 28 16:35:29 PDT 2004

Bill, an even older one (but topical),

What's the difference between an Arab terrorist and a female singer?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Tom (with apologies to all vocalists and Diana Krall) Wood

----- Original Message -----
From: "Bill Gunter" <jazzboard at hotmail.com>
To: <dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com>
Sent: Thursday, July 29, 2004 4:41 AM
Subject: [Dixielandjazz] pet musical peeves

> Hi all,
> Nancy Giffin's post reminded me of a wonderful old musician's joke:
> A famous orchestra conductor was in love with two ladies and he couldn't
> decided which one to marry. One was a beautiful but dumb blond (sorry
> the "blond" joke at this part) and the other one was a gifted but ugly
> operatic coloratura soprano.
> He pondered this question for a long time and in the end his artistic
> asserted itself and he decided to marry the gifted but ugly opera singer.
> On the morning after their wedding night the conductor turned to his new
> bride and said: "ALL RIGHT, DAMMIT, SING!!"
> Respectfully submitted,
> Bill "My wife can't sing" Gunter
> jazzboard at hotmail.com
> >From: Nancy Giffin <nancyink at ulink.net>
> >To: <barbonestreet at earthlink.net>,Dixieland Jazz Mailing List
> ><dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com>
> >Subject: Re: [Dixielandjazz] The Audience - Was Front Line Only - peeves
> >Date: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 11:34:39 -0700
> >
> >
> >
> >From: Steve Barbone <barbonestreet at earthlink.net>
> >[much edited snippet]
> >I have some pet peeves of my own:
> >1) The self important musicians in the audience.......
> >2) Bands that don't play requests of any sort.
> >3) Musicians that wear a look of "I wish I were somewhere else"........
> >4) Overly-arranged Dixieland that lacks balls.
> >5) Bands proclaiming that the warmed-over dance music of the 20s and 30s
> >was real "jazz" and so repeat it ad nauseaum while waxing
> >6) Bands that insist upon dredging up "obscure" tunes that don't
> >swing......
> >7) Folks that have a neat compartment, with boundaries and rules for
> >jazz, and insist that theirs is the only true path and that others must
> >follow it or be left out of jazz heaven.
> >8) Etc. ;-) VBG
> >
> >
> >Hi, Steve,
> >Under the etc. category, I'd like to add "Musicians who push their
> >amateur-singer wives and girlfriends on the band and the audience,
> >unannounced and uninvited, at major festivals." It's not fair to anyone.
> >
> >This happens all the time, but at the recent Jubilee, I was forced to
> >endure
> >two painfully-long vocals by the new girlfriend of one of Jubilee's
> >most-esteemed "featured artists." It was especially frustrating because I
> >had walked in late just after having left a really great set, half-way
> >through, so I could catch the tail-end of Allan Vaché in his only set of
> >the
> >festival with Jim Galloway. (I really enjoy this match-up.) Yet, in that
> >last half-hour that I did manage to see, I only got to hear Jim and Allan
> >play two tunes because of this amateur singer using up so much time --
> >because of the unprofessional move on the part of her boyfriend, the
> >designated leader of that set.
> >It's a pet peeve because there are hundreds of professional musicians and
> >singers who follow standard procedure for acceptance to a festival but
> >don't get invited. It's not fair to them since they have to wait, it's
> >fair to the musicians who have to backup the singer, and it's not fair to
> >the audience who came to see one act but unexpectedly got another.
> >
> >There was a Partridge Family episode that made fun of this idea that,
> >is not only blind but deaf, too":
> >Young David Cassidy was in love with a beautiful singer and gets the
> >to listen to her as an audition for the band. Now, when HE hears her
> >there is this beautiful voice on the TV, but then they switch to show
> >she sounds like in reality (what the rest of the family hears), it's like
> >fingernails on the blackboard!!
> >
> >Funny (if it weren't so common)!
> >_______________________________________________
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