[Dixielandjazz] A matter of substance

[TCASHWIGG at aol.com]

In a message dated 1/9/04 5:41:00 AM Pacific Standard Time, 
a.crouch at unsw.edu.au writes:

> A question - what is an imitation bass and what is it made of? A clue -
> there is a definite, practical, link with the washboard.
> 

Why, that would be the galvanized Washtub that I took a many a bath in when a 
kid, turn it upside down (minus the water of course) poke a hole in the 
bottom center, run a piece of clothes line through the hole and tie a big knot in 
it on the inside.  Now get a #3 Broom Handle, and cut it to the size you are 
comfortable with and attach the other end of the rope to the top of the Broom 
handle which you place on top of the overturned Washtub, placing your feet 
squarely over the Washtub handles on either side next to the ground.

Now you are an official Hillbilly Bass player, Change the notes by applying 
tension and releasing it on the rope while plucking it accordingly, ( Do not 
Attempt to use a Bow it does not work)  Leave that to the Saw player and create 
another job, now get one of the kids to blow on that jug and another to wrap a 
pocket comb between two pieces of newspaper and you got yourself an original  
(organic) depending upon how much goo is in the comb, Kazoo, now get another 
kid to play the spoons (preferably Grammies biggest wooden ones, and you got 
yourself a band,

The cost to outfit this here band is a lot cheaper the it costs for the 
Original Jack Daniels Silver Cornet Band, and rumor has it Mr. Jack Daniels spent 
almost Three Hunnerd Dollars on outfitting that group.

I used to be a Master artificial Bass Player for one gig, got my PHD in it 
and retired to teaching it ever since.

Tom  Professor Low end)  Wiggins