[Dixielandjazz] Look for it on Broadway!

Kimberly Shaffer KIMBERLY_SHAFFER at pgn.com
Fri Apr 23 13:46:49 PDT 2004

[lyrics by Pete Petersen]
And now... the hottest new musical to hit Broadway:  "Bandleader on the 
Roof" .  Set in the small yet incredibly musical village of 
Band-a-tevka, it follows the chronicles of a bandleader trying to hold 
onto the traditions of his forebears.  You'll thrill to such numbers as:
Contractor, Contractor (sung to the tune of "Matchmaker, Matchmaker")
Contractor, contractor, find me a sub
send me a schmoe
fetch me a schlub;
Contractor, contractor, find me a schmuck
who'll work as the perfect sub.
Contractor, contractor, get me a cat
one who can read
one who's not flat;
Contractor, contractor, find me a guy
who could be the perfect sub.
For this... gig... make him a reader,
for that... gig give him monstrous chops
for God's... sake... don't make him greedy
He'll take twenty choruses when we play 'bop;
Contractor, contractor, now is the time
next week's the gig
I need someone fine;
Contractor, contractor, look on your list
and find me the perfect sub...
"If I Were a Sideman" (sung to the tune of "If I were a Rich Man")
If I were a sideman... doodle deedle doo-bah doobie doobie scoobie 
doobie doo
All day long I'd doo be doo be doo
if I were a cool side man
Wouldn't have to band-lead.... doo be doo be scoo be ba da boo
I'd just show up right before the gig
if I were a doo be doo sideman.
I'd... have.... a.... compact car with no room for sound gear
just enough for passengers like me
filling it with gas only once a week
I'd wave a big hello to the other sidemen
from the window when I'm passing by
Then I'd drive it home and get to sleeeeeeeep...
If I were a sideman, yabba dabba fooba dooba hooba doo
I would let the leader book the gig
if I were a good sideman;
I Wouldn't have to phone-call... scoo ba dee ba doo be dah bah dee ba 
deebo dooba day
all day long I'd practice on my axe
I would never have to have to practice tact
dealing with the bride and groom in fact
never would be something I would do
I'd... spend... my... breaks in line with the guests at the wedding
sampling the food at the buffet
I'd sit with the other sidemen and schmooze
I'd play my part with flair and wear my tuxedo
even with the ruffles in my shirt
No one cares that I don't have matching shoes...
If I were a side-man  Doo be doo be shooby doo bah dee bah blee blah 
blee blah day
All day long I'd spend it with my kids
if I were a good side man
I wouldn't have to write checks; shabba dabba dooba deeba dooba dah
I would wait until the gig was done
Then I'd get my check and head for home
I'd be sitting, waiting for the phone
if I were a saidle daidle man.
And of course, favorites like
"Transition!" (sung to the tune of "Tradition!")
"First Set, Last Set" (sung to the tune of "Sunrise, Sunset")
Plus many more!!!

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