[Dixielandjazz] Re: G-d's Instrument

Elazar Brandt jazzmin at actcom.net.il
Sat Sep 20 22:56:26 PDT 2003

Shalom Jazz Fans,

I sort of tried to stay out of this one, but it's getting too good.

Well, since I live in G-d's home town, I went and asked Him. The answer the Almighty gave me, like all divine revelation, was
actually quite simple and obvious once the revelation is received. You see, just as He is omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent, and
the like, He is also omni-instrumental. G-d plays ALL instruments. And He can play them all at the same time.

Religious man that I am, I set out to try to emulate Him. After 30 years of playing banjo and 40 of playing trombone, I began to
collect other axes -- tubas, washboards, trumpets, baritones... you name it. Now I go to gigs with every possible ax I can wear or
schlep strapped to my body, but try as I might, I cannot play them at the same time. I did manage to keep a high hat cymbal going
while changing from tuba to trumpet to banjo to kazoo to vocal in the same song. That's one small step for man... But it's so
confusing. I got mixed up once and tried to oompah on my banjo. Trust me, it was not a pretty sight!

So it appears that history continues to show that mere humans are not qualified to do G-d's job, and should leave it to the

Elazar "don't blame me; I'm just trying to make some jazz" Brandt
Misrad HaJazz
Doctor Jazz Band
Jerusalem, Israel
Tel: +972-2-679-2537

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