Fw: [Dixielandjazz] Fw: Burns Night

[Tom Wood]

Excellent poem Bob,
but please don't send it to any list mates with haemorrhoids as flatulence hurts.  Don't you know about these things?  An Atholl Brose (just bottled and distilled our own brew with personalised labels - selling at $1500 each) chaser is essential when eating Haggis.
Tom 
----- Original Message ----- 
From: Bob Romans 
To: DJML 
Sent: Saturday, January 25, 2003 2:53 AM
Subject: [Dixielandjazz] Fw: Burns Night


Subject: Burns Night
I've just GOT to share this with you LISTMATES!
When Cell Block 7 was in Scotland, Lorna and her squeeze, John McDonald, drove our van. We've gotten to be very good friends...they stayed with us for several days when they came over for the San Diego Thanksgiving Festival.
She just sent this to me...
Jazz content?? "Big Noise From Winnetka"!
Bob Romans
Cell Block 7
Jazz Band
1617 Lakeshore Dr.,
Lodi, California, 95242
Phone.....209-368-3255
Cell...209-747-1148
Fax...209-368-3255
WebPages..click below
www.cellblockseven2002.net
>=iii=<0


Hi Gang,

On Wednesday the 25th January we celebrate the birth of our National  Poet -  Rabbie Burns. We drink toasts to this Son of Scotland, read his poems, sing his songs and eat lots of turnip(neeps), haggis and mashed potato. Also, we eat "The Haggis"  - The great chieftain of the puddin' race with its "sonsie" face.

A latter-day Rabbie Burns has written the following poem concerning a Burns Supper. See what you make of it!!

John and Lorna



    Oh, what a sleekit horrible beastie
    Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
    Just as ye sit doon amang yer kin
    There starts to stir an enormous wind

    The neeps and tatties and the mushy peas
    Start workin' like a gentle breeze
    But soon the pudding wi' the sonsie face
    Will have ye blawin' all ower the place

    Nae matter what the hell ye dae
    A'bodys gonnae hae tae pay
    Even if ye try to stifle
    It's like a bullet oot a rifle

    Hawd yer bum tight tae a chair
    Tae try and stop the leaking air
    Shiffy yerself fae cheek tae cheek
    Prae tae God it doesnae reek

    But aw yer efforts gae asunder
    Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder
    Ricochets aroon the room
    Michty me!!  a SONIC BOOM

    Good God Almighty, it fairly reeks
    Hope I huvnae shit ma breeks
    Tae the bog I better scurry
    AW, what the hell, it's no ma worry

    A'body roon aboot me 's chokin'
    Wan or two are clearly bokin'
    I'll feel better for a while
    Ah cannae help but raise a smile

    WIS HIM !!  I shout wi' accusin' glower
    Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
    Ye dirty BUGGER they shout and stare
    Ah dinnae feel welcome any mair

    Where e're you be let yer wind gan'  free
    Sounds like just the job fur me
    Whit a fuss at Rabbie's perty
    A'  ower the sake o' wan wee farty!!


TRANSLATIONS CAN BE PROVIDED, IF REQUIRED!!
    
    
     
 


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