[Dixielandjazz] Gig Haikus

[Dan Augustine]

    These are too good not to share.
Dan
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>Date: Tue, 12 Nov 2002 07:53:45 -0600
>From: "Monte B. Price" <montep@sbcglobal.net>
>
>GIG HAIKUS:
>
>Jam session bassist
>Observes fourteen soloists
>Contemplates murder
>
>Say, do you guys know
>"Wedding Song" by Kenny G?
>Buy the damn record
>
>Riffing on "Rudolph"
>Musicians in red and green
>Learn humility
>
>Best man pays sideman
>Revealing greed of leader
>Rebellion ensues
>
>I'm sending a sub
>But don't worry, he'll be fine
>He's fresh from rehab
>
>Solo pianist
>Freed from all constraints of form
>Heedlessly mangles
>
>Jazz nymphs crowd bandstand
>Offering carnal delights
>My alarm clock rings
>
>Double-timing bone
>Sounds like somebody chewing
>On a rubber band
>
>Forty-two straight gigs
>With no requests for "Take Five"
>Time to call Guinness
>
>Free jazz temptation
>Strikes during the bride's first dance
>What Would Wynton Do?
>
>New Years revelers
>Here's hoping the stroke of twelve
>Sends you the hell home
>
>Checking out women
>High stages and low necklines
>Great combination
>
>A new world's record
>For choruses on "A Train"
>My band hates me now
>
>That plate of hors d'oeuvres
>Cost more than we're getting paid
>Think we underbid?
>
>Break time is over
>Rest of band is returning
>Now for that phone call
>
>Rock drummer, lounge keys
>Classically trained singer
>Welcome to sub hell
>
>God bless trust fund gigs
>Only have to eat ramen
>For a few more weeks
>
>My drummer helped me
>Count the syllables
>in this Haiku

-- 
**----------------------------------------------------------**
** Dan Augustine - ds.augustine@mail.utexas.edu             **
** Office of Admissions, University of Texas; Austin, Texas **
**----------------------------------------------------------**