[Dixielandjazz] Kill all the lawyers (Non Musical)

Thu, 19 Dec 2002 16:32:13 EST

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Hi all,

>From the stories below I think it is juries which need killing not lawyers.  
The lawyer is just making the best case he can for his client. Iif the jury 
buys his yarn then they are the ones at fault. 
Of course it would help if the judge accepted the jury`s verdict and then 
awarded 10cents damages and the complainant paid the whole costs.

<< The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee

 on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella

 awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. The

 following are this year's candidates:

 Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her

 peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running

 inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably

 surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was

 Ms. Robertson's son.

 A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses

 when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman

 apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he

 was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

 Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just

 finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage

 door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He

 couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and

 garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and
 Mr.Dickson

 found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case

 of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's

 insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury

 agreed to the tune of $500,000.

 Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical

 expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's

 beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was

 less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a

 little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly
 with a

 pellet gun.

 A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,

 Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her

 coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had

 thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

 Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a

 nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to

 the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.

 Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid

 paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

 This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,

 Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.

 On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise

 control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back ad

 make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway,

 crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him

 in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded

 him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their

 manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other  
complete

 morons buying their recreation vehicles.

Musical content.  ` Brush up your Shakespeare`

Cheers

PatL

  >>

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Reply-To: <jerry.patterson@mindspring.com>
From: "Jerry Patterson" <jerry.patterson@mindspring.com>
To: "Pat Ladd" <PLadd36932@aol.com>,
        "Marian & Jack Ulrich" <Mjpelican@aol.com>,
        "Don Hurd" <donh@snellingtampa.com>,
        "Bill Montgomery" <billmont@attglobal.net>,
        "Bruce Toman" <bruce.toman@dmjmhn.com>,
        "Bob & Judie Lee" <judielee@polarcomm.com>,
        "Devon Patterson" <devon@nauticaltraveler.com>
Subject: Why is Tort Reform=Necessary?
Date: Wed, 18 Dec 2002 21:22:54 -0500
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Read the following and you will know why we should all be screaming for tort
reform.  Jerry

The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee

on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella

awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. The

following are this year's candidates:

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her

peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running

inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably

surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was

Ms. Robertson's son.

A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses

when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman

apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he

was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just

finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage

door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He

couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and

garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and
Mr.Dickson

found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case

of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's

insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury

agreed to the tune of $500,000.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical

expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's

beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was

less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a

little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly
with a

pellet gun.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,

Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her

coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had

thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a

nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to

the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.

Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid

paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,

Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.

On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise

control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back ad

make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway,

crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him

in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded
him

$1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their

manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other
complete

morons buying their recreation vehicles.

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<DIV>Read=20
the following and you will know why we should all be screaming for&nbsp;tort=
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<DIV> The=20
Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee <B=
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=20
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.=20
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