[Dixielandjazz] Bad Puns ....from the Far Side
Bryan Livett" <email@example.com
Mon, 12 Aug 2002 14:52:09 -0400
This is hard-core corn, Bob!
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bob Romans" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
To: "DJML" <email@example.com>
Sent: Monday, August 12, 2002 11:26 AM
Subject: [Dixielandjazz] Bad Puns ....from the Far Side
Hi DJML'ERS...and a little humor is good!!
A couple of good musical puns in here!
>From the Far Side
1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backwards poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison is a small
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in
24. Once you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of