<HTML><FONT FACE=arial,helvetica><FONT SIZE=3>In a message dated 2/25/03 11:27:38 AM Central Standard Time, charliehooks@earthlink.net writes:<BR>
<BR>
</FONT><FONT COLOR="#000000" style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" SIZE=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" FACE="Arial" LANG="0"><BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE TYPE=CITE style="BORDER-LEFT: #0000ff 2px solid; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px">X-INFO: INVALID TO LINE<BR>
In my never-ending quest to improve the use of written English, I offer the<BR>
following rules:<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
RULES FOR WRITING<BR>
<BR>
Do not put sentences in the negative form.<BR>
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.<BR>
Avoid cliches like the plague.<BR>
Prepositions are not words to end a sentence with.<BR>
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.<BR>
Be more or less specific.<BR>
The passive voice is to be avoided.<BR>
Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.<BR>
If any word is inappropriate at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.<BR>
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.<BR>
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading<BR>
that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.<BR>
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.<BR>
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.<BR>
Avoid repetitive redundancies.<BR>
One should never generalize.<BR>
Contractions aren't appropriate.<BR>
Understatement is always best.<BR>
Exaggeration is a hundred times worse than understatement.<BR>
Analogies are like feathers on a snake.<BR>
Avoid ampersands & abbreviations, etc.<BR>
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.<BR>
Who needs rhetorical questions?<BR>
It is bad grammar to ever split an infinitive.<BR>
Profanity makes the writer look like an asshole.<BR>
<BR>
helpfully submitted,<BR>
Charlie</BLOCKQUOTE><BR>
</FONT><FONT COLOR="#000000" style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" SIZE=3 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" FACE="Arial" LANG="0"><BR>
Delightful, Charlie Hooks. Is this your creation?<BR>
<BR>
Jim Beebe</FONT></HTML>