[Dixielandjazz] Caribbean Cruise

[Robert Ringwald]

Just got into Tampa FL after a wonderful 7-day JazzSea Caribbean cruise. 

On the way I wrote the following email. 

If anyone would like to hear what we did during the cruise, let me know off-line and I’ll send the email to you direct. 

Meanwhile, Here was my first email to my cruise list.

-Bob Ringwald

Cruise 2015 - Day Minus 1 - To the Western Caribbean.



OK, let’s get this out of the way first. If you would rather not receive reports on our Western Caribbean Jazz Sea cruise, use your Reply command, put the word “Unsubscribe” in the subject line of the email and send to me. You may do this at any time during this week. Of course since we will be out in the middle of nowhere, I may not get your email until I get back to California in two or three weeks. 



Day Minus One – Saturday January 17. 



Writing this aboard a United flight from Sacramento to Houston. So far there has been nothing exciting to report. Got up at 6:00 AM PST and left the house at 8:45 PST, hoping that we, Adele and I, remembered to pack everything we will need on this cruise. Undoubtedly we forgot something important and brought something that we don’t need. I just don’t understand why I brought this 35 pound, battery operated, fully automatic  jack hammer. 



We got to the airport in Sacramento about 10:00 AM for a 12:25 flight. The airport was practically empty. We checked our bags, waltzed through security, got a hamburger, fries and bottle of water and proceeded to wait for boarding. 



T. S. A. has a new rule. If you are 75 years old, you do not have to take your shoes off while going through security. I am 10 months shy of reaching that age. But for some reason, they took pity on me and did not require me to take my shoes off. Little did they know that it was lucky for them. When I was required to take off my shoes in the airport security line last year, three T S A agents passed out and a HAZMET team had to be called in.  



In order to get through security, I did have to stand there with my arms up in the air while some pervert looked at me through some sort of x-ray camera. I understand that, like Super Man,  he could see everything through my clothes - I mean everything… Was it my imagination or did I hear snickering coming from the other side of the wall? 



So far the flight has been moderately rough. No big jolts where your head bounces off of the ceiling, but just annoying shaking most of the trip. The seat belt sign has been on most of the time. I’m sure glad they installed those new relief tubes at each seat. 



Remember the days when the airline fed you, free of charge? Well, those days are long-gone forever. Food can be had, but for a price. From what they are charging aboard the plane, and the price of food and drinks in the airport, I am glad I raised the limit on my Visa card. It was set at “Are You Sure?”. Now it is at, “Oh My Gawd…” 



  Not only that, United charges $25 for the first suitcase per person, and $35 for the 2nd suitcase per person. And . . . . Either I have gained a lot of weight, or the seats and isles on this plane have shrunk. I’m sure  it is the latter. 



It is 5:05 PM CST. We should be landing in Houston in about 45 minutes and then will have about an hour to find our next boarding gate. 



I know, I know, so far this has been rather boring. But I promise it will get slightly more interesting as we get on the ship and begin to eat. Yes, eat, isn’t that what you do aboard a cruise ship???



(A couple hours later)



We landed in Houston, if that’s what you want to call a nose dive into the pavement. As we were getting off the plane, I asked the Captain if he had to pay for that giant hole he put in the runway. Yes, it was United Airlines. 



Years ago a clarinet player named Phil Howe told me about a tour he was on with the Turk Murphy band. They were on a United flight. Somehow a fly had gotten onboard also and was buzzing around, annoying the passengers. He said they named the fly “Sky.” He was then “Sky, the friendly fly of United.”



(Pause another couple of hours.)



Well, we made it to Tampa. Had to take a cab to the hotel. I’ve heard of small hotel rooms but this was ridiculous. I closed the door and the door handle broke the window. The mini-bar was a glass of water and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. The room was so small that even the mice were hunchback. Boom Chick



Well, that’s it for Saturday February 17. The fun starts tomorrow as we fight our way onto the ship. 



 TTFN (Ta Ta For Now). f


-Bob Ringwald
Bob Ringwald Solo Piano, duo, Trio, Quartet
Fulton Street Jazz Band
916/ 806-9551
Amateur (ham) Radio station K 6 Y B V

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying
let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.