[Dixielandjazz] We Don't Serve Minors

[Robert Ringwald]

We Don't Serve Minors
A “C,” an “E-flat,” and a “G” go into a bar. The bartender says: “Sorry, but we don’t
serve minors.”
So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After
a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries
to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll
just be a second.”
Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative
of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, “Get
out now. You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece
suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job
until his company downsized) says, “You’re looking sharp tonight, come on in! This
could be a major development.” This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off
the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. The
C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor,
and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental,
and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides, however,
that since he’s only had tenor so patrons, with the sopranout in the bathroom, and
everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest, and closes the bar.

-Bob Ringwald
Bob Ringwald Solo Piano, duo, Trio, Quartet
Fulton Street Jazz Band
916/ 806-9551
Amateur (ham) Radio K 6 Y B V

"Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room." -Phyllis Diller