[Dixielandjazz] Barnacle Bill The Sailor

[Luke X]

I have no personal memory of singing the song, but the lyrics I was once given quickly differ from those presented here. I suspect there are many different versions, but the one I have is as follows, with most of the repetition edited out for the sake of brevity and the language lightly censored in a futile attempt to make it appear more decent:

"Who's that at my door?" 
"Who's that at my door?" 
"Who's that at my door?" 
Asked the fair maiden. 

"Just open the door, you f***ing w****" 
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor 
"Just open the door, you f***ing w****" 
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor 

"Would you like to dance?"
Asked the fair maiden 

"F*** the dance and drop your pants" 
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor 

"What if we get caught?" 
Asked the fair maiden 

"I'll f*** your ma and suck your pa" 
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor 

"What if i get pregnant?' 
Asked the fair maiden 

"He'll go to sea, and f*** like me" 
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor 

"What if its a girl?" 
Asked the fair maiden 

"We'll dig a ditch, and bury the b****" 
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor 

"What if you go to jail?" 
Asked the fair maiden 

"Ill whip out my c***, and pick the lock" 
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor 

> Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2011 10:55:36 -0500
> From: Stephen G Barbone <barbonestreet at earthlink.net>
> To: DJML <dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com>
> Cc: Dixieland Jazz Mailing List <dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com>
> Subject: [Dixielandjazz] Barnacle Bill The Sailor
> Message-ID: <77E2DCC8-AA98-4C6A-80FC-30AA3112A30C at earthlink.net>
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> 
> Anton wrote that Barnacle Bill was responsible for two things.
> 
> I submit Barnacle Bill was responsible for a third. Namely, a set of  
> bawdy lyrics that we young kids in New York City in the 1940s, used to  
> sing. Starting with:
> 
> Who's that knocking at my door?
> Who's that knocking at my door?
> Cried the fairest young maiden.
> 
> It's only me the ***** of the sea
> Said Barnacle Bill the sailor.
> 
> What on earth do you want with me?
> What on earth do you want with me?
> 
> etc.,
> 
> I remember most of the rest. Does anyone else?
> 
> Cheers,
> Steve Barbone
> www.myspace.com/barbonestreetjazzband