[Dixielandjazz] Good start for 2011

[Bob Romans]

AGENT: A character who resents performers getting 90 percent of his salary.
BALLET: An art form for people with eating disorders.
BANDSTAND: The area furthest away from an electrical outlet.
BIG BAND: Nowadays, an aggregation consisting of two musicians.
CABARET: A venue where singers do songs from shows that closed out of town.
CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME: God's way of telling you that you've practiced too 
much.
CLASSICAL COMPOSER: A man ahead of his time and behind in the rent.
CRUISE SHIP: A place where a musician has two reasons to throw up.
D.J.: The guy your son would rather have play for his Bar Mitzvah.
DOWNBEAT: The magazine that would have you believe that all jazz musicians 
are working.
ELECTRIC PIANO: The instrument that enables its player to pay for the hernia 
he sustained lifting it.
JAZZ: The only true American art form beloved by Europeans.
NEW YEAR'S EVE: The night of the year when contractors are forced to hire 
musicians they despise.
ORCHESTRATOR: The musician who enhances a composer's music, only to be 
chastised for it.
PERFECT PITCH: The ability to pinpoint any note and still play out of tune.
PIANIST: An archaic term for a keyboard player.
SIDEMAN: An appellation for a musician that indicates he will never be rich.
STAFF MUSICIAN: Harder to locate than a cavity among the Osmond family.
STEADY ENGAGEMENT: Look up in Webster's Dictionary under the word ''obsolete.''
UNION REP: A guy who thinks big bands are coming back.
VERSE: The part of a tune that's disposable, except to its composer.
WURLITZER: The Ford Pinto of pianos.

Warm regards,
Bob Romans,
1617 Lakeshore Dr.,
Lodi, California,95242,
Cell Block 7 Jazz Band,
209-747-1148
www.cellblock7.biz
Enjoy life now-it has an expiration date