[Dixielandjazz] Terminal Performances

[Robert Ringwald]

This one was around a few years ago but worth another read.  


A musician who's spent his entire life trying to get a record deal is
feeling extremely depressed. He's been turned down by every record company
he's ever contacted. No one recognizes him, no one cares. So, he decides to
top himself and comes up with an ingenious plan to get back at all the
record companies who've rejected him all of his life.

He books time at a recording studio, and instructs the sound engineer to
record everything he says and every sound he hears, then copy it all onto
1000 CD's and send a CD to every record company executive on a list that he
lays on the console. 

The guy walks into the vocal booth, the engineer says
"let's try it", and he begins...

"This is a message for all you sycophantic, talentless, stupid record
company a-holes who've ignored me for all these years. I've dedicated my
life to writing beautiful, emotive, soul-searching music, and all you
bastards do is discard my tapes, never return my phone calls, and sign these
horrible, no-talent, ridiculous, dumb bands, and these filthy, dirty
rappers! Well, you bunch of morons, you parasites, you idiots; I've taken
all I can of your puerile, shallow industry, and it's you who have driven me
to this! Goodbye you fxxxn' murderers of art!" 

With that, he pulls out a gun, puts it to his head and blows his brains out.

The engineer says, "OK, level's good - wanna go for a take?"


--Bob Ringwald K6YBV
rsr at ringwald.com
Fulton Street Jazz Band
916/806-9551

Check out our latest recording at www.ringwald.com/recordings.htm

The economy is so bad that Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
 

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