[Dixielandjazz] Prince Ndugood has been obliged

[ROBERT R. CALDER]

Everyone can relax!  I passed Prince Ndugood's appeal to a piano professor friend, and he came up with the goods!!!!
The worthy professor's message should also remind us of the mystical meaning of 4/4 
and how important OKOM is to the continued functioning of the universe. 

>   My Dear American Friends, this is your friend Prince Ndugood of 
> Nigeria writing to thank you for your many appreciations of my emails 
> and your much kind words. I am overjoyed with gladness to bring you 
> the news that I have been invited to your country for a celebration of 
> jazz and world music at the Obama White House. My village's touring 
> band, Dark Incontinent, will be playing the jazz of music for your new 
> president. The band is also learning the American traditional song 
> "Hell To The Chief" , to play for the president. (I had thought that 
> Mr. Obama was merely your president, but apparently he is a chief as 
> well! What a truly great man!)
>               I will be leaving soon for your country. I am still 
> filling out the secret service clearance form for jazz musicians   etc. etc. etc. 


Dear Prince,

It is with great pleasure and remarkable credulity that I read your
request for tiny amounts of money in order that you may be enabled to play
before the most mightiest and greatest Obama. Do you realise the
numerological significance of Obama: adding the letter values of His most
exalted name comes to the remarkable sum of 32, which number is the fifth
power of two. This means that he will come to lead the fifth great
revolutionary power of the world, in  the time of the Great Coming which
will start in the year 2016, this being the difference between the number
of 2 raised to the power of eleven less the 32 referred to heretofore!!!!!

Clearly the playing of jazz is critical to this much-to be desired state
of affairs, since jazz musics are primarily in the time of 4/4, that being
two squared upon two squared, and thus undoubtedly related to the
numerologically significant two to the power of five.

Clearly you have, however, misread the questions on the little green form
provided to citizens of this and other countries on their impending
arrival in the United States of Amerika: for the questions there now
include: do you believe in the mysitcall state of free Afgannisatn? are
you carrying sums of money in excess of 400,000 groats?

Nonetheless: I am pleased to enclose a virtual cheque with this email to
the sum of UK$ 200,000, in the knowledge that this will enable you to
fulfil elements of God's  swill, and I wish you all of the best of luck in
this endeavour!

Yours in the best of taste,

Ndunowt.