[Dixielandjazz] Musical Patrons

[budtuba at aol.com]

 I received a great little story from Lew Custode, a great cornet player from Niagara Falls and performer himself.? I'm not sure he subscribes to this forum, but maybe this will be his invitation:



                

                
Consider:

?C,? E-flat, and a 
                G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve 
                minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open 
                fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: 
                the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the 
                situation, but is not sharp enough.

?A D comes into 
                the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. 
                I'll just be a second."

?An A comes into the bar, 
                but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is 
                not a minor.

?Then the bartender notices a B-flat 
                hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're 
                the seventh minor I've found in this bar 
                tonight."

?The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes 
                back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely 
                shined shoes. The bartender says: "You're looking sharp tonight, 
                come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to 
                be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and stands there 
                au natural.

?Eventually, the C sobers up, and 
                realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to 
                trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a 
                minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an 
                upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is 
                found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all 
                accusations to the contrary are bassless.

?The 
                bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so 
                patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has 
                become alto much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the 
                bar.





 


Roy (Bud) Taylor
Smugtown Stompers Jazz Band
Trad Jazz since 1958...we ain't just whistling dixie!