[Dixielandjazz] Instrument humor

[Dan Augustine]

Folks--
     Something is seriously wrong when there are more pages of humor 
about bassoons than about bagpipes.

Google searches on:

guitar+humor: about 17,500,000 English pages for guitar+humor
piano+humor: about 8,590,000 English pages for piano+humor
violin+humor: about 2,710,000 English pages for violin+humor
drummers+humor: about 2,140,000 English pages for drummers+humor
trumpet+humor: about 1,850,000 English pages for trumpet+humor
banjo+humor: about 1,810,000 English pages for banjo+humor
saxophone+humor: about 1,650,000 English pages for saxophone+humor
clarinet+humor: about 1,280,000 English pages for clarinet+humor
trombone+humor: about 1,270,000 English pages for trombone+humor
viola+humor: about 1,200,000 English pages for viola+humor.
oboe+humor: about 702,000 English pages for oboe+humor
tuba+humor: about 605,000 English pages for tuba+humor
cornet+humor: about 542,000 English pages for cornet+humor
bassoon+humor: about 323,000 English pages for bassoon+humor
bagpipes+humor: about 315,000 English pages for bagpipes+humor
bass+humor: about 283,000 English pages for bass+humor
cello+humor: about 103,000 English pages for cello+humor
noseflute+humor: about 327 English pages for noseflute+humor

     Dan

"The tuba is the certainly the most intestinal of instruments,
  the very lower bowel of music." --  Peter De Vries

"The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone,
  is advising a son." -- Kin Hubbard

"I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when
  he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his
  arm.  Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the
  purity of the sound achieved by the pig." -- Alfred Hitchcock

"If it please your neighbor to break the sacred calm of night
  with the snorting of an unholy trombone, it is your duty to
  put up with his wretched music and your privilege to pity him
  for the unhappy instinct that moves him to delight in such
  discordant sounds."  -- Mark Twain

"God tells me how the music should sound, but you stand in the way."
          -- Arturo Toscanini to a trumpet player

"A vile beastly rottenheaded foolbegotten brazenthroated
  pernicious piggish screaming, tearing, roaring, perplexing,
  splitmecrackle crashmecriggle insane ass of a woman is
  practicing howling below-stairs with a brute of a singing
  master so horribly that my head is nearly off."
         -- Edward Lear (1812-1888), letter to Lady Strachey, 1859

-- 
**--------------------------------------------------------------------**
**  Dan Augustine  --  Austin, Texas  --  ds.augustine at mail.utexas.edu
**    "In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass, and a
**     nightingale.  Diversity of character is due to their unequal
**     activity."   --  Ambrose Bierce in _The Devil's Dictionary_
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