[Dixielandjazz] I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you.

[philwilking]

I know it's off topic, so beat me severely about the head and shoulders with 
a wet noodle.

PHIL WILKING

Those who would exchange freedom for
security deserve neither freedom nor security.

> (This has been around, before, but it's well worth a rerun!)
>
> For all of us who love and trust the Government!
>
> A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture, 
> when suddenly, a brand-new BMW advanced towards him out of a dust cloud.
>
> The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses 
> and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you 
> exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a 
> calf?"
>
> The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his 
> peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
>
> The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects 
> it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the 
> Internet. He then calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an 
> exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite 
> that scans the area into an ultra-high-resolution photo.
>
> The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop, and exports 
> it to an image-processing facility in Hamburg , Germany. Within seconds, 
> he receives an email on his Palm Pilot advising that the image has been 
> processed and the data stored.
>
> He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel 
> spreadsheet through email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, 
> receives a response.
>
> Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, 
> miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and turns to the cowboy and says, "You 
> have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
>
> "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the 
> cowboy.
>
> He watches the young man select one of the animals, and looks on in 
> amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
>
> Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly 
> what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
>
> The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
>
> “You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.
>
> "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
>
> "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. “
>
> “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid 
> for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. “
>
> “You tried to show me how much smarter you are than I am; and you don't 
> know a thing about cows.”
>
> “This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog"
>