[Dixielandjazz] Clarinetist Looking for Work

[Stan Brager]

Rick;

Our band is looking for a clarinet meeting your friend's resume. While it's
true that we play mostly in Bb and F, occasionally we'll surprise out
audiences with a tune in Eb. However, I must caution your friend that we're
a tribute band which honors the music of trombonist Fred Robinson,
clarinetist Vance Dixon and kazooist W. E. Burton.

We do have a vocalist who does one of two numbers per set. We're all very
proud of her accomplishments. She took lessons from Darlene Edwards for
several years and her repertoire is drawn from the Schubert Liede. The band
provides a suitable accompaniment in the style of the Olympia Brass Band.

I was pleased to learn that your friend doesn't smoke or use drugs. We need
someone to drive the band's van when we're too stoned to drive safely
(that's how we lost our last clarinetist).

His resume doesn't say if he plays a Boehm clarinet - this is what gives our
band its characteristic authentic sound.

We're a professional group of players and we strive to exhibit a positive
image on stage and off which is why all of our matching clothing is made
from hemp cloth.

Please contact us as soon as possible. We have a gig coming up soon at the
John Cage Music Festival.

Thanks;

Stan


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "RICK KNITTEL" <knittelsportland at juno.com>
To: <dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com>;
<jazzmusiciansforum at JazzMusiciansForum.talklist.com>;
<tradjazz at list.okom.com>
Sent: Tuesday, October 03, 2006 6:47 AM
Subject: [Dixielandjazz] Clarinetist Looking for Work


>
> Rick Knittel - The Maine Street Paraders
> 37 Ship Channel Road; South Portland, Maine 04106-5136
> Bus phone; (207)-741-2407; fax 2409; Cell: (207)-233-3480; Home;
> (207)-799-6382
> E-mail; Knittelsportland at juno.com; Winter (mid Jan to mid April) Office;
> 7657 Bergamo Ave; Sarasota, FL 34238-4765; Phone/Fax; (941)-924-5186
>
> Clarinetist Looking for Work
>
> 16+ year's professional experience. Specializing in serious presentations
> of pre-WWII traditions of clarinet performance including New Orleans
> Jazz, Brazilian Choro, and French West Indian Biguine. Large repertoire
> of jazz
> standards.   Reading OK, Travel OK,  Basic linguistic skills in French,
> German, and Italian.  No drugs, health problems, or dietary limitations.
> Union member in good standing.  No social, political, or religious
> affiliations.   Doubles on alto or tenor saxophone negotiable.
>
>
>
> (I own a soprano, but in accordance with well-established codes of
> gentlemanly conduct, I do not play one.)
> PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND to this message IF:
>
> Your band, concert, or project name uses rhyme, alliteration, puns,
> animal names, or includes any of the following words or their variants:
> Swingers, Strutters, Stompers, Ramblers, Hot, Dixieland, Tribute, or
> Legacy.
> [For example: Dixie Dogs of Des Moines, Hot Jumpin' Jazz Lizards, The
> Four-Skinny-Minnies Swing Band, Down-Home-Ragtimers Tribute to Wilbur
> Sweatman, etc.]   The use of All-Stars' is negotiable provided some team
> sport or athletic activity is involved;
> Your dress code or group's uniform includes ANY of the following:
> White pants or shoes, suspenders, matching golf shirts, matching blazers,
> or any type of hats. Anything made of polyester is out of the question,
> and as a friend in the fashion industry says, 'Denim is just never a good
> idea.'
> I also require assurance that the performance will not be within 50 yards
>
> of a garter, striped vest, bowler hat, straw boater, feather boa or
> anything with sequins;
> Your rhythm section includes electric keyboard and/or bass guitar.
> Washboard is negotiable in the proper context, although offhand I have no
> idea what that would be;
> You or any of your band members have a spouse or girlfriend who sings,
> purports to sing, or so much as threatens to sing;
> Anyone involved in your proposed performance attempts a 'scat' vocal
> More than half of the selections in a typical program consist of vocal
> numbers or are limited to the keys of Bb and F.   Gospel programs are an
> acceptable exception, but the singer better be damned brilliant;
> Your program includes any of the following:  note-for-note
> transcriptions, sing-alongs, or banjo features.  Furthermore, if there is
> tuba or sousaphone their solos must be limited to a maximum of one per
> set and may never exceed two choruses;
> At anytime during your performance, parasols are deployed. Legitimate
> second-lines are the ONLY exception, in which case an additional 25% for
> strolling/marching applies;
> Your proposed venue spends more on sound reinforcement or amplification
> than artist fees.
> Compensation for your job includes ANY of the following: All the beer you
> can drink, a free meal, good publicity or exposure, or bringing a spouse
> girlfriend, or companion for free.  hank you in advance for your
> consideration. --
>