[Dixielandjazz] Wives at gigs-true stories
Talegatorz at aol.com
Talegatorz at aol.com
Thu Jun 8 17:38:25 PDT 2006
The wives at gigs thread has brought back some fond memories...
1) I once subbed on bass for a decent country-western band. Even as a sub, I
had regular work with them. One night an attractive young lady sat alone at a
front table. For the next few gigs, she was always there. We all took our best
shots hitting on her, but she chose our very talented lead guitar player. She
attends every gig,
evil-eyeing any other woman daring to speak to him. They are married three
months later and she still attends every gig. He soon begins fighting with the
other band members and the band breaks up. A year later I run into him. He has
sold all his guitars and amps is trying to sell me whole life insurance. The
wife is pregnant.
Five years later he shows up at a gig divorced, drunk, and miserable. He says
he won't ever play the guitar again.
2) My bass player was sick and at the last minute, I hired a sub I didn't
know very well for a private party. Without asking first, he brought along his
wife who brought along her girlfriend. The two of them jumped on the buffet
before the guests, then drank like fish and made frequent trips to the upstairs
bathroom. (I later found out that they were cokeheads.) The two "ladies" left
during the last set. While we were packing up, the State Police arrived. It
seemed that two of the guest's leather coats and purses were missing. The hostess
wouldn't pay me, but the sub bass player demanded his and made a scene. I paid
him out of pocket to shut him up. The police could only take names and file
reports. They were from a neighboring state and were never prosecuted. I was
never paid for the gig, but I paid my regulars since they were loyal and never
brought their wives.
3) He was a fair banjo player and a very nice guy. He insisted that we
rehearse at his home where his much younger and gorgeous wife would serve us lunch.
We did a few gigs for bus tours and private parties where he played well
enough. His little cutie would dutifully sit in front and run her cassette
recorder. Then came the bar gig.
I warned him that it was a four set job till 2AM and the crowd could include
some fairly base fellows. There she was, getting hit upon every hour on the
half hour and Mr. Banjo couldn't tell the difference between Bb and E7 or keep
time with the band.
He was less than useless. I begged him to leave her home for any future bar
gigs, but he explained that she just wouldn't let him out of her sight. I
highlighted his file in my address book and pressed delete.
I have met one or two wives in my career who were tolerable and useful at
I never fail to thank them for this behavior. God bless any wives of
listmates who fit this profile. They are lucky men indeed.
I have been blessed with many years of happiness with my lovely wife who met
me at a gig, attended two more, got a taste of reality and has never come to
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