[Dixielandjazz] Fw: Jazz clarinetist

[Dave Hanson]

 Subject: Jazz clarinetist






    A conductor is getting an orchestra together for a performance but is  having

    trouble finding a clarinet player.  Finally, he calls a contractor  who tells him, "Well, the only guy I've got available at this moment is this jazz clarinetist." 


    The conductor replies, "I can't stand working with jazz musicians!  They dress lousy, they're always late, and they all have an attitude problem." 


    "Well," replies the contractor, "that's all I've got."


    "All right," says the conductor, "I'm getting pretty desperate, so I guess I'll have to take him."


    The first rehearsal is a week later.  The conductor arrives early and notices the new clarinetist, wearing a suit and tie, with a pencil on his stand, sitting on stage practicing his part.  During the rehearsal, the clarinetist plays his part quite well, and is responsive to all the conductor's requests.  At the second rehearsal, a week later, the same thing happens.  This time, the clarinetist turns in a nearly perfect  performance.


    One week later, at the final dress rehearsal, this occurs again, with  the clarinetist now playing his part flawlessly.


    At the break in the rehearsal, the conductor says to the orchestra,  "I've

    got an apology to make.  I was really dreading having to work with a jazz

    musician, but I must say that our clarinet player has certainly proved me

    wrong.  He is always neatly dressed, he was always here early for the rehearsals, working on the part, and he has really learned the music."

    Then, to the clarinet player he says, "I just wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate your effort and dedication."


    To which the clarinetist replies, "Hey man, it's the least I can do, considering I can't make the gig."