[Dixielandjazz] The Washington Post Mensa Invitational - To lighten it up a bit :))

[tcashwigg at aol.com]

The Washington Post Mensa Invitational -

once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter

it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new

definition. Here are this year's winners:



1.      Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts

until you realize it was your money to start with.

2.      Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3.      Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that

stops ANY bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer

unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near

future.

4.      Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the

purpose of getting laid.

5.      Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders

the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6.      Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7.      Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and

the person who doesn't get it.

8.      Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running

late.

9.      Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10.      Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra

credit.)

11.      Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all

these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and

it's like, a serious bummer.

12.      Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day

consuming only things that are good for you.

13.      Glibido: All talk and no action.

14.      Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter

when they come at you rapidly.

15.      Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just

after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16.      Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets

into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17.      Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a

worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18.      Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.