[Dixielandjazz] Jazz Limericks

[Ed Danielson]

>From Denver trumpeter Bob Montgomery.  I don't know where he got them.

Jazz Limericks

A keen jazz musician called Mallory,
Once asked for an increase in salary.
Said the guv'nor: "No way -
Till you buck and play
Less bebop and more to the gallery!"

There was an old man from Killarney,
Who loved Cootie, Hodges and Carney.
This caused bitter strife,
Between him and his wife,
For she simply adored Mantovani.

The nose flute's a curious thing,
And much favoured East of Nanking.
But it's out of the question,
If you've got congestion
And safer to whistle or sing.

A roving musician called Rubin,
Liked black coffee with one sugar cube in.
But one night in Bombay,
In a topless cafe,
It was served to him white - with one boob in!

A trad band from Aix-la-Chapelle,
Once went on a short tour of Hell.
They played "When the Saints"
Without any complaints,
And they met their old agent as well.

There was a young fellow called Bradley,
Who did almost everything badly.
He took up the uke,
And played songs by the Duke,
But nobody loved him too madly.


Ed Danielson