[Dixielandjazz] Musical Short Story

[Steve barbone]

A C, and E-flat, and a G go into a bar.  The bartender says: "Sorry,  but we
don't serve minors."

So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat.
 
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
 
Then a D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
"Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
 
An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this
relative of C is not a minor.
 
Suddenly the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and
exclaims: "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar
tonight."
 
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3
piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice
corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp
tonight, come on in!  This could be a major development." This proves to be
the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands
there au naturel.
 
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution
of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale
correctional facility.
 
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even
accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The
bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the
sopranout in the bathroom, and everything has become altoo much treble, he
needs a rest - and closes the bar.