[Dixielandjazz] Band uniforms

[John Farrell]

Against my better judgement (greed prevailed) I've been hauled out of
retirement to play three gigs next Saturday, Sunday and Wednesday in
Birmingham, Derby and Roade respectively to help out a band whose regular
pianist has just undergone brain surgery.

When I asked the bandleader if I needed to wear anything special he enquired
if I had any Bermuda shorts, preferably flowery ones. My problem is that
although I do own such a garment I am not blessed with Bermuda-friendly legs
and have been warned that Birmingham audiences are likely to become quite
inflamed by the hapless spectacle which I would inevitably present.

I rejected Mary's suggestion that I wear a pair of her nurse's black
stockings fearing that the audience might jump to the wrong conclusion - it
is now too late to cancel so what can I do to extricate myself from this
awful predicament?

John Farrell
http://homepages.tesco.net/~stridepiano/midifiles.htm